Goodkind meets Jane Austen - Truth and Consequence
'"By the bye, Richard," said Kahlan, "Are you really serious in conducting a war in the Midlands? I would advise you, before you determine on it, to consult the wishes of the present party; I am much mistaken if there are not some among us to whom a war would be rather a punishment than a pleasure."
"If you mean Zedd," cried her husband, "he may go to the Westlands, if he chooses, before it begins--but as for the war, it is quite a settled thing; and as soon as Jagang has molested my countrymen enough, I shall send round my invitations." "I should like wars infinitely better," she replied, "if they were carried on in a different manner; but there is something insufferably tedious in the usual process of such an occasion. It would surely be much more rational if conversation instead of fighting were made the order of the day." "Much more rational, my dear Kahlan, I dare say, but it would not be near so much like a war," said he.
"Surely we can work together to find a peaceful solution," suggested a hippy.
"Oh! shocking!" cried Kahlan. "I never heard anything so abominable. How shall we punish him for such a speech?" "Nothing so easy, if you have but the inclination," said Nicci. "You hold him down, I'll get the pincers and red-hot poker. Let him feast upon those testicles of his, then we can all laugh. With your long association with Richard, you must know how it is to be done." '