Friday, August 04, 2006

Goodkind meets Anthony Burgess - A Clockwork Truth

'The camp was quiet: all glazzies were on Lord Rahl as he addressed his select banda of warriors before the nochy's raid.

"Using our knowledge of the truth, coupled with our mastery of moral clarity, we have managed to penetrate far into Imperial Soviet territory. I have not govoreeted you the object of our mission so far, but now I shall reveal it to you. We come to destroy vital resources of the soviet, and end the tyranny that they seek to inflict on our lewdies."

He paused and smottied to Verna. She haughtily smottied down her morder at him, in the haughtiest manner. Razrezzes formed, and rolled down her cheeks. Ever since Warren snuffing it, the shest she kept around her hard heart slowly was cracking. Kahlan put a rook on her pletcho and whispered in her ooko. Verna was a klootch lomtick of Lord Rahl's vareet, and he needed her to be dobby, and her rassoodock to be dobby as horrorshow.

"We will inflict pain and suffering on these most hateful of hatred-filled communist pimps. We will match their ultra-violence with our own, and our raging rookers will buffet them into submission."

His followers all nodded, and Zedd nachinatted to privodeet them in their chant. "Master Rahl guide us. Master Rahl teach us. Master Rahl chasso us. In your light we thrive. In your mercy we are sheltered. In your wisdom we are humbled. We live only to serve. Our jeeznies are yours."

Richard spotted the domy-like building, using his keen Seeker's gaze. "The shadows of the illusion of choice inherent in this society.." he nachinatted, and Kahlan bared her groodies to prevent Lord Rahl's diatribe from becoming overly long. Gazing longingly at her plott, he decided that he wanted to have truthful pol with his cheena, after this nochy's mission was accomplished.

The building was a training ground for ideals that Richard hated with all of his broad and sammy heart. It must be destroyed for anyone to have a choice. He and his followers rushed in. The cold empty gaze of hundreds of malenky children met him as they ran into the room. A malenky, knobby chelloveck with a disfigured plott was explaining to the class about the importance of sharing. Richard drew his britva, raging beyond rage at the poison that had seeped like death into the ookoes of these useless nazzes. "Let no jaw itty unkicked, chellovecks!" he creeched nobly. The Britva of Truth swept through the air as the starry chelloveck shrieked as his gloopy gulliver exploded with fury. The mindless zombie children tried to run and spread the disease of their ideals. The doors to the skolliwoll-that-was-not-a-skolliwoll were barred, and the zvook of malenky bones breaking lasted for what seemed to Richard to be not long enough, by several hours at least.
Kahlan smottied into his glazzies at the campfire, her glazzies smoldering like the embers of the fire, which were smoldering as horrorshow. It was obvious to Richard that he was ittying to be engaging in the old in-out, in-out this nochy. Zedd smottied at Richard and govoreeted "Wizard's Last Rule: Dispensing justice is the best way to turn on a cheena." Richard, smottovat brooding and introspective govoreeted "Plus, it's the only way I can get hard." Zedd smecked, Betty the goat smecked, and the whole camp smecked together. Except Richard, who was horning inside, because no odin believed him, and the truth that he had shared had fallen on deaf ookoes. '



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