Richard the Queen

These came about from a scene in the latest book, where a witch suddenly declares herself queen after slapping the existing queen about a bit. This queen is the same girl whose jaw Richard kicked in the first book, so we thought, by this method of royal succession, he should really be the next queen...

- Maid Sansa

'Kahlan's chest constricted and her heart jumped up into her throat. She could barely breathe. She never thought Richard could look more handsome, but seeing him in his black queen outfit filled her with longing. In his long black dress and cloth-of-gold petticoat, he had never looked more commanding, more powerful, more like a ruler. He truly was a queen.'
- The Mad Moose

'His lithe form weaved like a panther across the dance floor. The flowing dress part of his queen outfit flowed and snapped with his movements. All of the other dancers danced like a collective of retarded communists, but Queen Richard danced the dance of the individual.

His tiara glittering above his noble brow, Richard used his legs to carry himself into the next step, each step in harmony with itself, to conserve his energy and not fall. His dancing prowess was unmatched: all of the previous dancing experience of the Seekers of Truth had infused into his feet. Luckily, not all of the previous Seekers were as tight-assed as Richard, and had some awesome dancing skills.

"I liked the way you danced around my men, Queen. You danced like you had a goal in mind, like you really were dancing and the other dancers did not dance as hard as you. Would you join my bowling league?" asked the captain of the guards.'

- VigoTheCarpathian

'She keeps her Moet et Chandon in a pretty cabinet
'Let them eat cake.' she says just like Richard Rahl would say
A built-in remedy for Jagang or other enemy
At anytime an invitation at the point of a sword you can't decline

Nutsacks and cigarettes,
Well-versed in etiquette,
Extr'ordinarily nice,

He's a Killer Queen
Sword of Truth and his thing
Dynamite with a level beam
Guaranteed to kick you in the jaw (anytime)
Ooh, recommended in a dress
Insatiable an appetite (Wanna try?)

To avoid complications he used the name Ruben Rubinik
In conversation he spoke just like he never loses breath
Met a man from D'hara went down to torch the Empire
(Killer, killer, he's a killer Queen)
Then again incidentally, if you're that way inclined (faggot)

Perfume came naturally from D'hara (naturally)
For mercy he couldn't care less
Relentless and precise

He's a Killer Queen
Sword of Truth and his thing
Dynamite with a level beam
Guaranteed to kick you in the jaw (anytime)

(guitar solo - by Richard who has never played a guitar before but just knows how to use it because of his gift)

Drop of a Gar he's as willing as playful as a pussy cat
Then instantly into action, suddenly creating a war
(To absolutely drive you wild, wild..)
He's all out to get you...

He's a Killer Queen
Sword of Truth and his thing
Dynamite with a level beam
Guaranteed to kick you in the jaw
Anytime

Ooh, recommended in a dress
Insatiable an appetite
(Wanna try?)
You wanna try... '

- theMountainGoat