Thursday, November 15, 2007

War Wizards break Writers' Strike

Objectivist commando manages to put an end to the cruel writers' strike.

In an unexpected turn of the events, one that not the most imaginative writer would have dared to think, the writer’s strike has been terminated. Yesterday when a group of writers was demonstrating in front of their studios a surprise twist in the plot happened. A gang of several individuals appeared and their leader, a ponytailed and bearded man with a raptor like gaze who was taller than most men but not as tall as some of the men that were with him, addressed the strikers and demanded them to put an end to that he called a “death choosing strike”. “By not writing the episodes of the great series “The Sword of Truth”, you are putting a lie to my existence in TV, you jackals of evil”. Said the man, he added that since he already existed the writers were committing a terrible crime: contradicting reality, because of that the only moral thing to do was to eliminate all of them.

The writers booed what they considered to be a “deux ex machina” twist in the thrilling story of their heroic strike and refused to return to their keyboards, which angered the ponytailed scab. He said something like “blade be true this day” and charged at the head of his followers, some of them known to those familiar with Los Angeles S&M scene.

Unfortunately for the writers, they were armed with just their hatred for moral clarity while the dark and gold clad strike Pinkerton was armed with some fine medieval re-enactment tools that allowed his forces to prevail in a short and brutal battle. “Frak, these toasters are tough!”, said a writer from some unspecified Sci-Fi show referring to the scabs, “I don’t know why but they always manage to take us by surprise”.

After having broken the demonstration, the ponytailed one, who named himself Richard R. Cypher, gave a three hours speech that was much celebrated by his followers. Then, in a show of writing powers he proceeded to punch the whole “The Sword of Truth” series in matter of minutes using an ergonomic keyboard. Those who have read it have been converted to Richard’s faith.

The former writers on strike, now hidden in the underground have admitted that the whole point of the strike was “not to write that horrible series. It had nothing to do with the money”.

Terry Goodkind, the author of the best selling non fantasy series, The Sword of Truth” has declined to comment about these events but has explained that he expected “something like this to happen”.

It’s expected now that most of the series will continue and it’s been hinted that some others are now on the works, like a biography of the famous singer Shania Twain. Some other series, like one that HBO was planning, have been cancelled on the grounds that they didn’t have a clear hero who wasn’t killed and that they were far too complex.

- Agulla


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6:33 pm  

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