Getting Rid of Mister Kitchen - Charles Higson
A wacky corpse-disposal caper. That should tell you all you need to know about the book. The protagonist accidentally kills an implausibly annoying customer, then his car runs out of fuel with the body in the boot, then his wallet is stolen by some implausibly aggressive homeless people, so he goes to borrow money from his pregnant ex-fiancee, who implausibly goes into labour in front of him... and that's just by page 30. Which, not coincidentally, is as far as I got before putting the book down.
The tag-line on the back says "Some days you just can't get rid of a body" - an obvious reference to that wonderful scene in Batman - The Movie where Adam West rushes up and down a crowded pier trying to dispose of a big fizzing bomb without killing nuns, babies or ducks. However, what works as a 2-minute sketch in an already camp movie is unlikely to translate well into a novel. Could I face reading more of these zany antics for the rest of my journey home? Emphatically not. The book may well get better in later chapters, but I'm not going to bother finding out. Only one thing deserves some points - in defiance of all style guidelines, Higson actually managed to use the phrase "'Fuck off,' I explained" and make it work, which is pretty good going. Other than that however...