Little Dicky Rahl and His Flyin’ Fists of Truth

Prelude

It was a sunshiny day on the D’Haran playground, and Dicky Rahl was gazing down from the tallest slide, looking over all of his subjects, his eyes perceiving all, in a mini-raptor-like fashion. Dicky looked to his pal, Crazy Zeddy, who was wearing a magic-doer’s robe. Many were frightened of his magic-doing, and his robe frightened many: it also served to hide the bulge of his diaper. Zeddy said “People are stupid-heads. They believe in poop, even if they can’t see the poop or smell the doody-smell. This is the magic-doer’s first rule.”

Dicky nodded: he had seen the kids at other playgrounds that shared their toys with others, and that wouldn’t stand up to bullies. He had shown the sharing children the error of their ways, freeing them from the centipede-like ways by making a hella awesome sand-sculpture. He had beaten up those who wouldn’t stand up to bullies: they were only armed for with their hatred for moral puberty.

“I now know what I must do: I am a fight magic-doer, and in between having to save Little Kahlan from doo-doo heads who want to force her to play doctor, I must either crush or make everyone on playgrounds everywhere listen to me, because I have moral puberty!” He took off his gloves: the words “Truth” were written in red, cherry-scented markers across his knuckles: Crazy Zeddy had given him the Fists of Truth, which made him the Looker of Truth, in addition to being a fight magic-doer. Inhaling the scent of superiority from his balled-up hands, he yelled “Hands, be true this day!” and started running through other playgrounds.

Dicky’s First Two Fantastical Adventures

Magic-doer’s First Rule: Little Kahlan was chased by men who wanted to beat her up. Dicky was like a velociraptor, his fists flying angrily, and with much hate. They hid with the Dirt Children. A bad girl took him captive. Dicky kicked a toddler in the face for calling Little Kahlan a doo-doo head. The bad girl made him play doctor with her. Richard beat up a man who claimed to be his father.

Rock of Tears: Dicky and Little Kahlan become boyfriend and girlfriend at the Dirt Children’s playground. Dicky’s head hurts, and he has to go with some icky girls who want to give him cooties and stuff. Dicky realizes that he is the “Bringer of Hurt.” Kahlan almost gets forced to play doctor. Dicky beats up the guy who claims to be his father again. He finds out the second magic-doer’s rule: “People doing nice things hurts people the most.”

- VigoTheCarpathian