tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-290629842024-03-23T17:50:57.584+00:00Sandstorm ReviewsSF, Fantasy, Horror, Crime, History, etc, etc, etc.....
And some Terry Goodkind parodies tooAlicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01396310599096809225noreply@blogger.comBlogger318125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29062984.post-46234407962636984482011-06-09T22:11:00.002+01:002011-06-09T22:14:07.230+01:00Chapter 19: Kings of the West<blockquote>It was the better part of a month later, in the early days of Amgor, the first month of winter.<br /><br />Although chill and gusty winds blew down from the mountains of the North and frost had withered the few remaining leaves to scarlet and gold, the Sun of noon blazed brilliantly in a clear azure sky and it would be long before the coming of Kyramon the Month of Snows rendered the season intolerable.</blockquote><br /><br />Um. Jungles? Tend not to be in temperate zones. I mean, do vandars hibernate or something? <br /><br />A great procession is moving through Patanga, wearing colours with which we are all familiar - flamy gold, scarlet, green and pale gold. Jewelled harnesses, gold plumes, the works. <br /><br />Obviously this is not for anything so unmanly as a wedding; Karm Karvus and Yian are in the procession, having just got married moments before, but we are spared the icky girly details.<br /><br />Thongor, surprisingly, gets barely a line of description; he is merely "splendid in kingly robes". Maybe Lin has finally realised that we know what Thongor looks like by now, so need for further mention of his thick black mane and mighty thews. <br /><br />Barim, on the other hand, gets a whole paragraph; he is rather uncomfortably dressed in green robes and has had to trim his beard and leave his axe behind, because he has just been declared King of Tarakus (hurrah!) - no, we didn't get to see that either, but it probably would have been quite boring. Quick flashback recap of how that happened - with the entire armada sunk, Tarakus was defenceless, and all the innkeepers (etc) who were left behind decided to surrender to Thongor's floater fleet. Hurrah!<br /><br />Now we enter the mighty throne room, and Thongor strikes a pose.<br /><br /><blockquote>From the dimness of the shadowy dome above him a vagrant beam of sunlight fell, striking to flashing fire the Flame Crown that sat his brow, all of pure redgold and studded with sparkling chandrals. Bleak and grim and impassive was the bronze mask of his features, but those that knew him well could read the glint of satisfaction in his eye, the deep happiness in the slight smile that touched his lips, and the pride in his tall stance.</blockquote><br /><br />All the other princes are seated around him - Zul of Zangabal, Turmis of Shembis, Thon of Thurdis, Karvus of Tsargol, Thal of Pelorm, and Barim of Tarakus. In case you were wondering. Now it's time to hand out some more honours, though there are no kingdoms left I'm afraid...<br /><br /><blockquote>"Charn Thovis of Vozashpa, kojan of the Empire and leader of the Ninth Cohort of the Black Dragon, come forth!"<br /><br />His face pale, his shoulders back, as erect as if he stood on parade, the young chanthar stepped before the dais of the Flame Throne and met the approving eyes of his Lord as Thongor smiled on him from above.<br /><br />"For three years now the barony of Tallan has lain vacant since the hand of the Jasark my son struck down Dalendus Vool when he sought to usurp my station. Kneel, Charn Thovis, and rise as Lord of Tallan!"</blockquote><br /><br />Yes, the adventure is definitely over, we're back to reminiscing about Dalendus Vool again.<br /><br />Changan Jal also gets a promotion, and then it's time for dinner! The End.<br /><br /><br />....<br /><br /><br />Yep, it ends with them all going off for dinner. I'm half-expecting (fat old) Blay to come in and make some jolly quip and they can all fall about laughing, but sadly Carter missed a trick there.<br /><br />And thus we come to the end of this God-whelmed and age-forgot tome of crackling time-worn parchment, unearthed from the howling catacombs of David's Bargain Bookshop whence few ever return alive. Now it shall return to the mighty Archives of Min's Bookcase, never more to be opened while the watchful crimson eyes of Aedir the Sun God yet observe mankind's futile passage across the, um, ...nah, that's all I got.Alicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01396310599096809225noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29062984.post-13009816129026726942011-06-03T14:12:00.002+01:002011-06-03T14:15:17.532+01:00Chapter 18: To the Death!A few paragraphs about the electrified corpse of Kashtar, and what a sorry sight it is - even Thongor has to bite his lip and turn away. The mist machine is not in great shape now either. Maybe they should try turning it off and on again?<br /><br /><blockquote>White fire spat viciously from fused electrodes and oily black smoke whirled up from the red-hot coils. The whine of the force field ebbed. No longer did the crackling aura of blue flame sparkle about the copper pole. The primitive Valkarthan knew nothing of electricity - he could not know how or why the steel blade of Kashtar had created a short circuit that had wrecked the mechanism. He only knew that the mist machine was dead and ruined beyond repair.<br /><br />And that the Red Wolf of Tarakus would rove the seas no more...</blockquote><br /><br />All the other pirate ships are now heading this way, to investigate the battle that is still raging with undiminished fury. Boat after boat comes gliding through the misty waters! Fortunately, Charn Thovis appears to have no particular sense of fair play or sportsmanship, and deals with this crisis by turning the Lamp of Madness on the approaching ships, like the burning eye of Avangra the Death God himself!<br /><br /><blockquote>In no time, it seemed, half the fleet was thrown into a roiling chaos. Ships swung drunkenly in the hands of raving maniacs, to crash and ram into their neighbours. The orderly lines of the armada broke up in a twinkling, and the fleet lost wau and floundered in the choppy waters.</blockquote><br /><br />Charn Thovis watches impassively as men set themselves on fire and hurl themselves into the water, etc etc, bathing ship after ship in the ray. Do we get any condemnation of this behaviour? Nope.<br /><br /><blockquote>Sometimes the Gods are just. The horror of death and madness the corsairs would have brought down upon the hapless citizens of the City of the Flame was now turned upon their own heads. He swung the beam back and forth, again and again, until eventually he sickened of the slaughter, and thrust the lever back. Then, even as the humming died and the eerie glow faded and dulled within the sparkling crystal tube, Charn Thovis bent and seized up a fragment of broken oar and battered the Lamp of Madness into a tangle of splintered glass and twisted metal.<br /><br />The machine from hell should have perished with the fall of elder and God-whelmed Nianga. It should have remained forever hidden from the knowledge of men under the dead dry sands of the Grey Barrens.<br /><br />But now, at any rate, no man would ever use this horrible invention in war against his fellow man again...</blockquote><br /><br />Now that the mist machine has been destroyed, the mist is starting to clear, and the faint red glimmer of dawn appears to the East. No more the mists of foul enchantment cloaked the invading fleet from watchful eyes! Thongor is pleased to realise that his city will be saved, which means it's time to go back to the air-traffic control officer, hovering impractically at 20,000 feet...<br /><br />Changan Jal is coming to the end of his shift, but before he heads home for a cold bottle and a warm bed, he decides to take one last look at that mysterious fog-bank that's been approaching up the Gulf. <br /><br /><blockquote>Just as the trim little floater arched over the harbor, and as Changan Jal peered down at the roiling mists that had by now moved very close to the sea wall... the gusting wind whipped aside the mantle of deception and he saw with a thrill of unearthly shock the black-hulled war galleys of the dread pirates of Tarakus!</blockquote><br /><br />His floater is armed with some kind of lightning gun, so he orders his pilot to fire at will while he digs out a device built by the wise Nephelos, Iothondus. (?) It's a sort of flare gun, only to be used in the direst of emergencies, which explodes in the air above Patanga in a blinding dazzle of blue-white fury. The rest of the floater fleet are on their way!<br /><br /><blockquote>Like lean and deadly hawks they swooped down upon the confusion of tangled and blazing ships, and like hawks they struck to kill. Soon the darkness before full dawn was ablaze with flickering fingers of fire, and ship after ship exploded into a cloud of flaming wreckage as the stored energy of the sithurl crystals was expended in irresistable beams of electric fire.</blockquote><br /><br />Back on the ship, Thongor is so awesomed by his floater fleet that he forgets to fear for his own safety, until they start firing on the flagship. The battle is still raging on deck, but things are heating up unpleasantly:<br /><br /><blockquote>The deck jumped and slapped the soles of his feet as the rear of the ship blew apart in a deafening explosion andan eye-searing flash of white and crimson flame.<br /><br />Thundering a command to the others who fought with him to hold the foredeck, Thongor sprang lightly over the rail and wove through the staggering throng of battling seamen. The air was thick with oily black smoke now; the upper works were ablaze, and smoking cinders drifted down like some grim Pompeiian rain to bestrew the decks with smoking sparks.</blockquote><br /><br />Barim blows a horn, and they all swing across the gory decks, back onto the Scimitar, where they instantly hack themselves free. And just in time! Cos the Red Wolf is sinking fast...<br /><br />To stave off attacks from above, fat old Blay is dispatched to run up a flag of surrender, and the boat heads to the harbour, where the city guards are astonished to see Thongor. In two more paragraphs the rest of the pirate fleet is destroyed... and Patanga is saved!<br /><br />It's all over bar the knighthoods...Alicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01396310599096809225noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29062984.post-10652520612724924172011-05-22T16:57:00.002+01:002011-05-22T17:01:21.062+01:00Chapter 17I've noticed a trend with Carter's chapter naming, in that he tends to give away the chapter's surprise cliffhanger ending in the actual title, rather spoiling any suspense that might otherwise have built up. On that note, I bring you:<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Chapter 17: Kashtar's Doom</span><br /><br />I wonder what might happen at the end of it?<br /><br />Anyway, Belshathla has just switched on the Lamp of Madness, everyone is either paralysed with shock or trapped behind other pirates... except for THONGOR, last seen swinging down from the rigging in the direction of the fog machine...<br /><br /><blockquote>It was impossible for him, at this juncture, to alter the direction of his swing. But he seized the hilt of Sarkozan and brought the great broadsword from its sheath with a squeal of rasping leather.<br /><br />The great blade flashed in the misty air as he swung it with a desperate surge of strength.<br /><br />The hissing blade caught Belshathla just below the ear and sheared his head off cleanly.<br /><br />The wizard's head thudded to the deck and rolled away into a corner of the deck like some great grisly fruit.<br /><br />Black blood spewed up in a hideous fountain from the severed stump. The headless body lurched drunkenly and fell over. In falling, one shoulder struck the central tube of the ray projector, and it swung aside with a screech of swiveling gimbals.</blockquote><br /><br />The mind ray is now pointing, not at Barim, but at the next ship along, the Thurdan Maid, which had been approaching to investigate the noises of battle, and the men on board suddenly went raving mad! In an instant, the decks of the ship were a screaming maelstrom of homicidal maniacs battling each other like wild beasts.<br /><br />Some more paragraphs of pirates insanely disembowelling each other pirates, until one of them knocks the wheel and steers the boat into the side of the next ship to portside, sinking both of them. The lamp of madness now shines on loads of the other ships too, bringing murder and madness and death to each!<br /><br />Back on board the Red Wolf, Barim is battling mightily, and now Karm Karvus joins the frey! (Shit. Now I've just remembered that I had a dream with Karm Karvus in this morning, he was in some kind of superhero flick with the Marvel Superhero Squad.) In typical KK fashion, he manages to slip on some blood within two paragraphs and has to be rescued by his new girlfriend. Generously, he decides not to chastise her for disobeying his order to stay on board the Scimitar.<br /><br />Battle makes her look pretty hot, too:<br /><br /><blockquote>Never had she looked more beautiful. The cold wind had whipped fresh colour into her cheeks. The black jewels of her almond eyes glittered with mischief. the slim rapier she held clenched in one capable fist was crimson to the hilt, and gave further proof - if further proof were needed - of the truthof her claim that she could ride and hunt and fight like any man.<br /><br />With her long slender legs clad in the glove-tight breeches, and her loose white blouse stretched taut against the rise of her sharp young breasts, a scarlet kerchief twisted about the heavy black cataract of her hair - she looked very desirable.</blockquote><br /><br />They interrupt the fierce battle for a bit of a snog. What the hell is she doing with an idiot like KK? <br /><br />Meanwhile, Thongor is just about to smash the mist machine, but the steely glitter of a sabre-blade flickers before him! It is Kashtar, at last!<br /><br /><blockquote>The Red Wolf of Tarakus was very changed. His face was a snarling mask of fury. Red murder blazed in his glaring eyes. His sallow features were slick with sweat and his brow was smeared with hot blood where a sword-point had slashed the flesh. His sleek dark hair was disarranged, and hung wetly in a tangle about his snarling face.<br /><br />His upper torso was half-naked. Steel had ripped his scarlet raiment to shreds, and his sleek tawny flesh shone wetly with droplets of mist and sweat and gore.<br /><br />"Dog of a Valkarthan savage!" he spat. "I'll spit your foul heart on the point of my steel!"</blockquote><br /><br />Thongor's Valkarthan broadsword is not suited for duelling, but luckily great thews swelled along Thongor's arm and his thick wrist was strong where sinewy tendons were braided about solid bone, and he manages to effortlessly bat Kashtar's weapon aside.<br /><br />However, Kashtar's a pretty good swordsman, and after a while Thongor starts to get weary, and his muscles start to ache from the effort. Oh, hang on, pronoun fail, it is KASHTAR who is starting to get weary, damn these unheralded POV shifts! Thongor, in fact, is ice-cold.<br /><br /><blockquote>Thongor fought silently. His chest rose and fell calmly and he did not seem to weary. Cruel amusement glinted in his strange gold eyes under the scowling black brows, as he read the desperation, the growing fury, and the fear and the frustration in the face of his opponent. Effortlessly he turned aside the flickering blade of Kashtar's sword.</blockquote><br /><br />Kashtar is getting desperate by now, and spots a pool of blood near Thongor's feet, so tries to edge him in that direction to try and make him slip (cos T has bare feet). Thongor slips! Kashtar swings back his rapier for the killing blow! But! <br /><br /><blockquote>Kashtar's sword touched the copper antenna of the mist machine, which flashed and crackled with its aura of blue fire - and the Red Wolf of Tarakus stiffened as ten thousand volts of man-made lightning tore through him!</blockquote><br /><br />(Hands up who wasn't expecting this...)Alicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01396310599096809225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29062984.post-21884695492984409102011-05-12T08:54:00.000+01:002011-05-13T21:45:16.977+01:00Chapter 16: The Ray of MadnessBack a bit, to Barim's POV slightly earlier on. He'd allowed the pre-ramming time to elapse, but on hearing the red music of battle from across the dark waters, he knew it was time to put Plan B into action.<br /><br />No sooner does he give the command than the Scimitar crashes into the Red Wolf, then Barim seizes a dangling shroud and swings across to board the flagship, wielding his great Belnarthan battleaxe with the savage strength of his tireless arms. His pirate companions follow suit.<br /><br /><blockquote>Wave after wave of his men came swarming over the shattered wreckage of the rail, and in mere instants the decks were alive with battling figures and hte roar of yelling men; the shriek of the wounded, the screams of the dying, rang through the fog like a chorus of the damned yowling up from the scarlet hells of the Ultimate Pit.</blockquote><br /><br />Even Blay gets in on the action:<br /><br /><blockquote>Blay was stout and heavily-built. Not to be unkind, one might as well admit he was - fat. But beneath his wobbling paunch and red, moon-faced exterior there beat the valiant heart of a fighting man.</blockquote><br /><br />I do love the way that Carter acts all coy about referring to Blay as fat, like he hasn't been using that very adjective in every description of Blay throughout the entire book...<br /><br />Some more pirate-battlin' action, interspersed by jolly comedy moments like Blay sneaking a drink from a wine-bottle during a lull in the fighting.<br /><br />Back to Thongor's POV. Typically, he was the only one who hadn't been thrown off his feet when the ship got rammed, so managed to extricate himself from his circle of foes by climbing up into the rigging. His plan now is to disable the mist machine, so the Patangan air fleet will be able to raise the alarm and arrange some defences. He grabs a rope and swings down towards the crackling blue machine...<br /><br />More pirate battlin', much the same as before, cutlasses are brandished and buckles are swashed, etc etc. But! There's someone else we'd forgotten about!<br /><br /><blockquote>Suddenly the noisy air thrilled to a weird sound.<br /><br />A deep-throated humming rose amid the clangor of battle, rising swiftly to a shrill scream that sent crawling terror through the tingling nerves of all who heard it. The vigor of battle faltered, as men turned to see the source of this eerie song.<br /><br />At the controls of the Lamp of Madness stood Belshathla.</blockquote><br /><br />He is pointing the lamp at all the pirates, friend and foe alike, ready to thrust home the throttle. (?)<br /><br /><blockquote>No-one could move or think fast enough to avert the horror that hung over them.<br /><br />Minga, Turan and Gorchak* were too far away, there at the head of the stair.<br /><br />Only Charn Thovis was upon the foredeck. And he was held back by a wall of swordsmen. He could never cut through them in time.<br /><br />The glittering crystal eye of the Lamp of Madness glared straight at the figure of Barim Redbeard.<br /><br />The hand of Belshathla tightened on the lever.<br /><br />And thrust it home!</blockquote><br /><br />End of chapter! <br /><br /><br />*these are three of Barim's men, but they haven't done anything interesting enough for me to bother introducing them.Alicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01396310599096809225noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29062984.post-49604077055062774742011-04-28T14:03:00.002+01:002011-04-28T14:07:24.004+01:00Chapter 15: The Golden Dragon<em>A phantom monstrous in the gloom,<br />He rose out of the waves to stand<br />Before the awesome Lamp of Doom,<br />And naked steel was in his hand.<br />- Thongor's Saga, Stanza XIX</em><br /><br /><blockquote>Thongor was upon the first guard in an instant. He bore him to the deck before his rush, like a charging lion. Before hte corsair had time to utter a single cry, the iron hands of the Barbarian had crushed him to silence. And even in the same instant Thongor sprang upon the first guard, Charn Thovis hurled himself upon the second. Bright steel flashed and red blood spurted, and hte second watchman sank to the deck without a groan.</blockquote><br /><br />Guards dispatched already? Nothing to stop them from destroying the machine? Sadly not. As befits a clumsy sidekick, Charn Thovis's victim had a sword which accidentally struck the base of the lamp as he fell, and made a noise like an alarm bell. (?) Pirates start to swarm up the stairs - the fight is on! <br /><br />Thongor tells CT to get destroying the machine while he holds the stairs, and promptly starts hacking his way through a bunch of pirates.<br /><br /><blockquote>Little there was in life the great Valkarthan loved more than a good fight - and this was one of the best! His broadsword rose and fell tirelessly, and soon with every sweep the blade left a curve of crimson droplets traced upon the air. Blocking the head of the stair as he did, the Barbarian had the great advantage of height - and a second, in that the maddened pirates could only come at him one at a time. For a short while he killed and killed, sustaining no more than a sabre-cut on his bare thigh and a scratch or two on chest and shoulder.</blockquote><br /><br />But! A mysterious silence at his back tells him that all is not well with CT's machine-destroying duties. He glances back - and Belshathla taps him with a paralysing wand!<br /><br />His arm goes numb and he drops the sword, and the pirates crush him to the deck, though he manages to break a few jaws and ribs as they do so. Belshathla got a better shot on CT, who is totally unconscious, but Thongor is only half-paralysed and is otherwise in possession of his faculties. Kashtar comes out to see what's going on, a mirthless smile on his lips.<br /><br /><blockquote>"Shall we slay him, Lord?" the Gray Magicial asked. "It is dangerous to permit him to live, even though a captive. For, although many men have held the Barbarian prisoner ere now, none of them are now alive. He has a way of eluding captivity..."<br /><br />Kashtar shook his head.<br /><br />"Wizard you may be, but you are also a great fool, you grey dog," he said. "For you would throw away the key that Fate has set within our very grasp! Aye, here's the key that will unlock the gates of Patanga before us... think you they will dare oppose us, when we hold a knife at the heart of their Lord and King?"</blockquote><br /><br />Moron. <br /><br />Belshathla is still dubious, but can't really do much about it as Thongor is shackled and dragged across the deck, where they plan to bind him to the prow. But! Even as the hand of one burly rogue went forth to lock the shackles, they are interrupted by... Charn Thovis, who has evidently gotten over his paralysis and is now at the controls of the Lamp of Madness!<br /><br />The pirates all withdraw in horror, and Thongor grabs the keys and unshackles himself, then picks up his broadsword from where it lay in a welter of gore. But there's someone else we'd forgotten about - Duranga Thool! He grabs CT from behind just as Thongor starts hacking away with his sword again, battling like a trapped tiger amidst the howling mob. All was howling pandemonium at the next instant! To be fair to Mr Carter, there are actually 8 lines between the two uses of "howling".<br /><br /><blockquote>Grinning, Duranga Thool beat Charn Thovis back with lusty blows from his cutlass. The pirate chieftain was the taller and the heavier man, and his burly shoulders drove the blade against the youth with telling force. Step by step, Charn Thovis was driven back until at length he stood against the rail and could retreat no further. With every ounce of skill and strength within him, the young warrior strove to keep the edge of that flying blade from his throat.</blockquote><br /><br />Sidekick fight!<br /><br />It's not looking good for Thongor either, so much so that Carter even loses his masterful grasp of the simile - T's latest victims lie heaped about him "like a wall of gory corpses". Exactly like a wall of gory corpses, in fact. But he's now surrounded, and knows that within moments he will be struck down from behind...<br /><br />Duranga Thool finally manages to beat CT's weapon aside, and is but a split second from plunging his sword into the young warrior's heart... but then something happens!<br /><br /><blockquote>Then, even as he watched, a miraculous change came over the face of Duranga Thool. From a snarling mask of murderous fury it was transformed to blank astonishment. The eyes goggled unbelievingly and the sword, drawn back for the final lunge, went wavering aside.<br /><br />Chran Thovis knew not the cause of the gap-jawed amazement that had struck the other, but his hand flew to seize this momentary advantage. And in the next instant, with the last dregs of his strength, he had thrust his own sharp rapier through the hairy breast before him.</blockquote><br /><br />But what could this distraction be?<br /><br /><blockquote>For looming out of the phantasmal mists, the contorted face of a dragon towered above the rail. Light glinted gold from its burnished beak and frowning brow.<br /><br />In the next instant the deck shuddered under their feet as the brass-beaked dragon prow of the Scimitar drove full against the hull of the Red Wolf.</blockquote><br /><br />It's Barim and his crew, to save the day!Alicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01396310599096809225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29062984.post-73067416009186517302011-04-23T15:54:00.001+01:002011-04-23T15:56:42.596+01:00Chapter 14: Naked SteelAfter making such a fuss over the fact that the "magic" mist is actually just Science!, Carter now decides to give it supernatural properties after all.<br /><br /><blockquote>All about the decks, gray streamers of the clammy fog swirled like the impalpable draperies that clad the skeletal limbs of the spirits of the dead. Queer tricks were played by fog and wind: leering mask-like faces appeared out of the sliding film of fog ,eye-holes and maw but gaping rents in the mist, torn by unpredictable gusts of wind.<br /><br />Long coils of mist drifted out, like reaching arms, as if to seize the sailors clustered on the mid-ship deck. Although they knew the nature of the mist to be Belshathla's demon sorcery, tihs did little to allay the superstitious fears that arose in many of the seamen. Many a grim-faced wrrior, standing with naked steel in his hands, ready to face death on the signal, felt his heart go cold and the chill sweat of terror on his brow. Even fat old Blay felt the clammy fingers of fear clutch about his stout old heart as he blinked and gawped at the gliding phantasmal forms that flickered eerily across the deck, borne on the invisible wings of the wind.</blockquote><br /><br />Not sure that their superstitions are so unjustified. "Don't worry, it's just demon sorcery!"<br /><br />The Scimitar sneaks out of the fogbank into the clear air beyond (phew!) and then zooms forward to the head of the fleet (using Barim's master seamanship) to catch up with Kashtar. The original plan (give me ramming speed!) has been demoted to Plan B, however, as Thongor has had a better idea - he plans to board the flagship and destroy the Lamp of Madness himself, and save the ramming idea for if he fails (cos that's totally likely).<br /><br />Barim is not best pleased at this.<br /><br /><blockquote>Growling at this, the pirate captain grudgingly agreed. To his simple way of thought, direct action was the only route to success, but the Lord of the West was his Lord as well, and he had no recourse but to submit. Far rather would he have preferred to send his brass-beaked prow crashing like a brazen ram deep into the timbers of the flagship's hull, and sweep aboard the decks of the enemy with a naked cutlass flashing in his hand. But he would yield to Thongor in this.</blockquote><br /><br />Thongor strips back down to his harness, and Charn Thovis does likewise (but not in a gay way), then they dive into the sea!<br /><br /><blockquote>The stinging shock of the chilly waves struck new vigor into Thongor's mighty thews. Setting his heels against the waterline of the Scimitar, the Valkarthan kicked out and propelled himself away from the vessel. His great shoulders rose and fell, his long powerful arms clove through the waves, as he swam towards the dim hulk of the pirate flagship that towered up, a vague and fog-wreathed silhouette, across the dark waters.</blockquote><br /><br />The magic mist conveniently stops a few feet above the waterline, so he has a good view of where to go, and has no trouble getting to the flagship. The two climb up via a carved sea monster which adorns the prow, and spot the Mind Ray machine which is guarded by two guards (the mist machine is unguarded, and Thongor whispers a plan to Charn Thovis which presumably involves them taking out one machine each).<br /><br /><blockquote>Then, silent as a phantom, his mighty figure all but invisible amidst the ghostly fog, the Valkarthan glided up and over the rail. His wet feet crept along the planking as he advanced upon the two unsuspecting guards. As he approached them, a ghostly and silent figure in the grey gloom, his strong fingers closed about the massy hilt of Sarkozan.<br /><br />With but the faintest whisper of steel against leather, he drew the glistening length of the broadsword free from its scabbard. With naked steel glistening in his hand, he advanced with the soundless tread of a stalking vandar upon the two guards...</blockquote><br /><br />Does anyone else feel just slightly dirty after reading that?<br /><br />We now cut away to a scene in Patanga, where air traffic control officer Changan Jal is sitting bored at his desk. Yes, that's right. Well, actually he's a guard captain of some kind, but his job involves sitting in the signal tower and collating reports from the floater fleet, and as usual, there's nothing to report. Once a night he likes to go up in his floater for a spin, and it's time for him to do so right now.<br /><br /><blockquote>Seating himself in the snug little cabin, he held the controls steady while Anzan Varl loosed the mooring lines and took his place in the pilot's chair. Then, in the observer's position, the older officer watched as the Otar took the trim little craft up to the twenty-thousand-foot level and began a tour of the city.</blockquote><br /><br />Wait. What?? No wonder his floater fleet can't see any trouble brewing, if they are patrolling at twenty thousand feet. What with them passing out from oxygen deprivation and whatnot.<br /><br />Anyway, he spots a mysterious fogbank approaching up the Gulf, which arouses his suspicions, but despite the "formless feeling" it gives him, he decides it's probably nothing to worry about... probably....Alicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01396310599096809225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29062984.post-47204283525718797002011-04-19T15:44:00.002+01:002011-04-19T15:46:48.172+01:00Chapter 13 - Magic MistThe fleet sails unhindered up the centre of the gulf, staying out of sight of land and intending to sink any merchantmen who were unlucky enough to espy them - however, these being the days of the stormy months that straddled the year halfway between late fall and the beginnings of winter, and few merchants dared risk craft, crew and cargo to the sudden squalls and unexpected lightning, so they sailed north all that day unseen.<br /><br />Not sure how the jungly shores are affected by these dramatic seasonal changes. I suspect not at all.<br /><br /><blockquote>Aedir the Sun-god declined slowly, hour by hour, in the West, until at length the azure sky darkened gradually with film on film of deepening gloom, while the horizon of the West became a glorious furnace of crimson and gold.</blockquote><br /><br />Thongor's gold eyes burn with inscrutable fires when considering the speed of their passage - probably Belshathla is using some kind of magic to make the ships go faster, with the cunning skills of his demon-wrested arts. On board the ship, Barim's pirates are all preparing for battle. I hardly need to tell you how mighty Thongor is looking right now, but Carter has no such reticence, and gives us the full money-shot:<br /><br />Erect, masculine, masterful in his black war wizard outfit, he looked as if he could be posing for a statue of who he was... Sorry, wrong book.<br /><br /><blockquote>...Thongor towered over [Charn Thovis], aye, and over all the seamen that stood near; thewed like some savage gladiator of the Gods was Thongor, with the broad shoulders, the deep chest, the long and powerfully-muscled arms of a mighty champion. His coarse mane of thick hair was held back from his scowling brows by a band of unadorned leather. The massy hilt of Sarkozan lay near his strong hand. His great chest rose and fell with deep. quiet breathing. His face was dark and expressionless, but his eyes blazed with golden fire like the burning orbs of a lion in its kingly wrath.</blockquote><br /><br />Funnily enough, my eyes are also burning after reading that. Yowch!<br /><br />The sun flares crimson in the West one last time (for now) and the crew waits silently for fall of night.<br /><br />Barim was hoping for a dark and moonless night, but alas, he is disappointed.<br /><br /><blockquote>...Illana the Moon Lady showed the full splendor of her shining face this night, and torrents of silver fell across the decks and glittered, flashing, on a thousand dancing waves. It was as if they sailed through a mirror of silver flame, and against the brilliantly illuminated waters of the moonlit Gulf the low black mass of the Scimitar would be all too distinclty visible.<br /><br />Growling barbarous oaths, he chewed fiercely on his mustaches, eyeing the flashing waters about them. Mayhap, in an hour or two, the Moon would hide her golden face behind thick clouds, for the winds of this cold month of Zorah were at work far above the world, and their swift and viewless wings had built tall castles of dark clouds athwart the West.</blockquote><br /><br />Barim is not the only one snarling curses at the shining glory of the Moon; Kashtar is also less than impressed at the clear skies, and would much prefer some clouds to hide his fleet's approach from the vigilant eyes of the floater pilots. Luckily, he has on board one of the mightiest adepts of the Secret Science then alive upon the bosom of the Earth, Belshathla, the last of the Grey Magicians of God-cursed and demon-haunted Nianga, armed with the hellish lore of a lost age of sorcery and science. <br /><br />After considering a few options involving giant magnets and extra (unavailable) wizards, B decides his best option is to summon Yathlabnazoor the Demon of the Mists and force him to enshroud the entire Tarakan fleet with the airy cloak of insubstantial vapor.<br /><br /><blockquote>This magical Operation he set about performing... and thus, in his ignorance, he veiled behind the symbolic terminology of Elder Magic a simple scientific experiment which utilised an understanding of the forces of nature, and was not really built upon the Shadowy Lords of Chaos at all. But since Belshathla would get the result he wanted, it did not really matter whether he worked through science or sorcery; the result was the same.</blockquote><br /><br />Well that's OK then. It means we don't actually get to meet Yathlabnazoor though. :(<br /><br />Basically he has a huge electrical generator, and even though he thinks the sparks are Elementals from Sithya the Dominion of the Fire Spirits, and the ozone smell is sulphur from the Ultimate Pit, he nonetheless manages to create a load of mist which envelops the fleet (with magical swiftness - in your face, science boy!)<br /><br />Barim, of course, thinks this is hilarious.<br /><br /><blockquote>Then his awe gave way to mirth, and Redbeard broke into peals of laughter. What a grim jest, if the very methods whereby Belshathla sought to protect them from discovery, were to prove an agent that permitted the Scimitar to fall upon the flagship unobserved, and take it by surprise!</blockquote>Alicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01396310599096809225noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29062984.post-72463251189259808002011-04-13T11:33:00.000+01:002011-04-13T11:34:00.232+01:00Chapter 12 - When Comrades MeetCan you guess what happens? I bet you can.<br /><br />1. Thongor steps out of the jungle to confront his armed attacker.*<br />2. He realises it's KK<br />3. They do some back-slapping and "I'm glad you're alive!" and "How did you get here?"<br />4. But what do we do now? Oh no Patanga is doomed!<br />5. Oh no a pirate ship is approaching!<br />6. They realise it's Barim<br />7. Repeat steps 3 and 4<br /><br />*this gives us the one quotable passage of the entire chapter:<br /><br /><blockquote>Swift as a striking cobra his hand flew to the hilt of the great Valkarthan broadsword that lay against his thigh. In a blur of motion he whipped the long blade from its scabbard, in a hiss of steel rasping against leather, and blocked the darting point that strove for his naked flesh.</blockquote><br /><br /><br />----<br /><br />Lazy writing merits a lazy update. I guess it was a scene that had to be written, but as payoff for all THREE of those cliffhangers, it's extraordinarily lame. Carter is really phoning it in, at this point.Alicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01396310599096809225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29062984.post-7145982751195211232011-03-31T15:44:00.002+01:002011-03-31T15:58:10.792+01:00Chapter 11 - The Armada of Doom<blockquote>Dawn rose over the edges of the world, lighting all the skies with a brilliance of gold and crimson flame.</blockquote><br /><br />All the pirates are awake bright and early, clearly unaffected by all that carousing of the night before. Badass. There are all sorts of pirates from all over the world, but they've all got the same thing on their minds.<br /><br /><blockquote>And in the heart of every man that poured aboard the waiting corsair fleet burned the lust for gold and gems, for wine and women. Soon, they knew, and grinned happily at the knowledge, the fabulous wealth of rich and glorious Patanga would be theirs. When the heavy treasure chests of the City of the Flame opened to pour a glittering flood of golden riches at their feet, not a corsair of their number but would be wealthy for life, a landed lord, with gold enough to live his years in luxury and splendor. They laughed at the thought, and fingered the gemmy hilt of dirk and dagger and keen-bladed cutlass... soon the sea wolves would run amok through the broad avenues of mighty Patanga, and the golden wealth of Earth's most glorious Empire would flow at their feet...</blockquote><br /><br />I'm at a loss to understand the economics of Lemuria. We have mighty and wealthy cities rising out of impenetrable jungles, with no visible agriculture or industry; we have pirates plotting to overthrow an entire empire and then somehow become landed lords... it occurs to me that, just perhaps, Lin Carter has not thought through this world-building thing very carefully. Just a thought.<br /><br />Belshathla is busy tending to his one remaining Lamp of Madness, an unholy lust burning in his cold eyes. Kashtar, resplendent in scarlet, has cold fires burning in his somber eyes. These descriptions are in consecutive paragraphs. For added amusement, Kashtar's lieutenant is apparently a swarthy and bewhiskered rogue called Duranga Thool.<br /><br />The sea gates are opened, and the ships all begin to sail out of the harbour, the pirates all singing lusty pirate songs. Yo ho!<br /><br />But! One ship is not singing! It has a lean black hull and scarlet sails, so we know which boat this is likely to be. <br /><br /><blockquote>Pacing his quarterdeck, a moody scowl upon his frowning brows, Captain Barim Redbeard cudgeled his wits for some way out of this dilemma.</blockquote><br /><br />Their dilemma? They can't refuse to sail with the fleet, lest they be suspected of black treason and hanged from the yardarm. Even Blay is no longer jovial.<br /><br /><blockquote>"How can we do it, mate?" Blay wheezed dispiritedly. "How can we hack and murther like the rest o' these wolves, in the rapine of the city of our friends? What will the little lad say when his old comrades come a-knockin' at the gates o' his father's royal city, with naked cutlasses in they hands, eh? O, 'twas a dark day for poor ol' Blay when he decided to turn pirate and seek his fortune on the high seas, that it were!"</blockquote><br /><br />Durgan, however, has confidence in his cap'n, and Blay hopes (by Shastadian's green beard) that he is be right.<br /><br />A bit more crimson and golden flame in the sky as dawn finally leaves the skies of Tarakus, giving way to rose and lavender instead, as well as palest gold and purest gold, which sets off Barim's red-gold beard (and fierce blue eyes) to pleasing effect. <br /><br />The shipmates shout a bit and call each other a variety of dogs, before Barim unveils his plan - as they have no way of outpacing the Armada to warn Patanga, he intends to sneak towards the head of the fleet in the next fog-bank they encounter, and attempt to ram the ship with the Lamp of Madness on, to give Patanga's floater-pilots a chance of repelling the invasion from the air... even if it means the death of all of them!<br /><br />But suddenly Barim goes pale - he has spotted something upon the shore! Hm, I wonder what that could be. Charn Thovis, being a lubber, can't see anything, as it takes the keen eyes of an ol' sea hawk the likes o' Barim Redbeard who is used to squintin' against the sun. He orders signal flags to be set, telling the fleet that he's sprung a leak and needs to go ashore for a bit, and then the ship turns about and heads for a cove...<br /><br /><blockquote>The young Patangan chanthar, Charn Thovis, was still mystified at this baffling maneuver. But as the lean black hull of Redbeard's ship entered the little cove and he got a good look at the curve of jungle-clad beach, he understood.<br /><br />And a vast and thrilling joy went through him. His eyes, of a sudden, filled with tears, and deep in his heart he gave profound thanks to the Nineteen Gods Who Watch Over The World...</blockquote><br /><br />End of chapter! Gosh, I wonder what they have seen.Alicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01396310599096809225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29062984.post-44124457957324641042011-03-28T11:51:00.001+01:002011-03-28T11:53:37.695+01:00Chapter 10 - Yian of CadornaWith the iron strength of my mighty snark, I thrust myself back into the crimson maw of this raging narrative, just in the nick of time for the onslaught of Book Three - Against the Storm...<br /><br /><br />Back with KK, grappling with the cloaked and veiled mystery figure. And guess what?<br /><br /><blockquote>Suddenly, Karm Karvus stifled a gasp of astonishment. For his hands had encountered - not the hard muscles of a man - but the yielding softness of a woman!</blockquote><br /><br />She has a face of "astonishing beauty", and is clearly no painted and bedizened wineshop slut and no pirate chieftain's wanton, but a young woman of birth and breeding and dignity.<br /><br />As any good woman should, she fetches him wine and food and dry clothes, and lets him sit beside the roaring fire, because she has heard all about his daring escape, and being also a prisoner, is full of admiration. KK now gets a chance to look her over:<br /><br /><blockquote>She was young, surely no more than twenty, and slim and regal, with the clear golden skin of Cadorna, oblique dark eyes, almond-shaped, slightly tilted, sparkling like black jewels. Her hair was a torrent of heavy black silk that poured down her slim shoulders to her waist. She had a soft warm mouth, ripe for kissing, and beneath a complicated garment of thin clinging silken stuff, her body was lithe and supple and deliciously rounded.</blockquote><br /><br />She is Yian, princess of Cadorna, also held captive by Kashtar as part of one of his crappy and half-baked plans. In fact, she had been just about to escape through the window when KK arrived so abruptly, and is a lot more prepared than he is; with typical sidekick skills, he hadn't even bothered to consider how he would escape from the city.<br /><br />Luckily she has managed to draw up a map based on what she could see out of the window, and knows which part of the city wall is least guarded; she has also already prepared a rope made out of knotted sheets and even has some spare clothes and boots for KK. He protests rather feebly about how dangerous it is out there for a woman, but in the end is forced to let her accompany him.<br /><br /><blockquote>Karm Karvus made some further objections, but gradually they subsided. The Prince of Tsargol was not the first man to lose an argument with a woman, nor was he the first to discover the futility of pleading reason and common sense with a woman who has already made up her mind. So, in the end, he resolved to take her with him.</blockquote><br /><br />KK is still griping inwardly about having to look after an icky girl as he climbs out of the window, and then of course slips and nearly falls off the roof and has to be rescued by her. Oops! I am less and less surprised that he was the only one of Thongor's companions to get stupidly captured, it seems to be quite on form for him.<br /><br />They make it to the wall unhindered, but then clumsy old KK slips again and lands... on a guard! Luckily, whatever KK may lack in smarts, he makes up for in fightin', and easily knocks the guard unconscious and nicks his sword (a slim rapier). Then, it's back to scrambling over the walls and down onto the rocks, and away towards the jungle.<br /><br /><blockquote>Before them the jungle rose like a wall of black emerald. It was mysterious and gloomy, its impassive silence broken only by vagrant whispers and the rustling of small creatures padding through the matted underbrush.<br /><br />Now they had left their human enemies behind;but new and more terrible foes lay deep within the hush of the jungle gloom - the savage predators whose hunting grounds they were about to enter. Their human foes they had eluded with cleverness and cunning, but Karm Karvus knew that only strength and courage and shining steel could defend them against the dripping jaws of the denizens of the Ptarthan jungles.<br /><br />Gesturing to the girl to keep well behind him, he advanced to the margin of the jungle, drawing his sword. No sooner had he but taken the first few steps into the emerald gloom, however, than a black and towering shape loomed up directly in his path. It had materialised out of nowhere with the speed and silence of some grim phantom.<br /><br />Without a moment's hesitation, Karm Karvus lunged. The naked blade in his fist sped glittering as he thrust at the heart of their unknown adversary -</blockquote><br /><br />-------<br /><br />Ah, come on! Does anyone here NOT know that this is Thongor? It's just like that incident with the length of firewood in the Beastmen's village. KK just shouldn't be allowed to play with dangerous objects.Alicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01396310599096809225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29062984.post-42120237341269368832011-03-25T14:04:00.002+00:002011-03-25T14:07:37.828+00:00Chapter 9 - Swords against PatangaNeither a Karm Karvus nor a Thongor chapter this one, as we find ourselves back in the presence of Thongor's pirate companions, hiding out in an inn in Tarakus. What might this inn be called? The Black Spot? The Jolly Roger? Close enough; it is the Inn of the Skull and Crossbones; even pirates from mythical continents before the dawn of time have certain conventions to uphold.<br /><br />Barim Redbeard has been tramping the streets of Tarakus, trying to find news of Karm Karvus, but even though there was hardly a man in the city who would not betray a comrade for a bit of gold, he hasn't gathered much info.<br /><br /><blockquote>This much they knew: Karm Karvus had indeed been held a prisoner by Kashtar the Red Wolf, Lord of Tarakus and king of the pirates. But Karm Karvus was missing. Many believed he had fallen to his death in the dark waters of that mighty subterranean cavern, for how could a man survive that fall into the cold black waves, where a mighty larth, goaded to madness by evil and age-old sorcery, roared and clamored for something to kill?</blockquote><br /><br />I had been wondering that myself; I think the answer is "deus ex machina".<br /><br />Barim Redbeard is wracked with guilt about losing Thongor to the deeps, and thinks that Charn Thovis must blame him for the thewed one's death. Charn Thovis, of course, thinks no such thing, but it's quite sweet to see the Hollywood-standard "oh no you must hate me!" misunderstanding going on between two mighty pirates. No, Charn Thovis has other things on his mind.<br /><br /><blockquote>Part of their trouble stemmed from the unfortunate fact that they did not know exactly what would have been Thongor's plan of action. What had the Valkarthan intended to do upon reaching the Pirate City? Failing to find Karm Karvus, what would he have done about the impending invasion? And, lacking their mighty leader, what could they do in his place? Doubtless the intrepid warrior-king would have launched into sone daring scheme whereby to bring the Red Wolf of Tarakus to his knees... perhaps, Thongor would have taken action to destroy the Niangan devil-weapons, thus rendering the Tarakan corsair navy ineffectial for any fleet action against the City of the Flame.<br /><br />So it all came down to this: what, if anything, could they actually do that would help prevent the attack on Patanga?</blockquote><br /><br />This, I guess, is the trouble with having an army full of sidekicks; take away the hero and they just get emo and indecisive.<br /><br />The door of the inn flies open with a loud crash, giving occasion for some fine piratical dialogue:<br /><br /><blockquote>"Flay me, mate, you nearly had a yard of steel in your gizzard, sneaking up on us like that," [Barim] growled, shoving his blade back in its scabbard with a clang.<br /><br />"Sorry, Cap'n," fat old Blay wheezed, stomping in and wringing the rainwater from the hem of his patched and worn old cloak. "Twas that devil-blasted wind, it was, fair snatched the door handle from my hands, it did. Ah, gods! Is they a drop o' wine in the shop to warm the guts of a fat old man what has been trampin' the streets of Tarakus from dawn to dark, till he has nigh wore down the leather of his soles?"</blockquote><br /><br />Blay quaffs some wine in jovial-fat-pirate fashion, while Barim waits impatiently for his news.<br /><br /><blockquote>"Belay all this bilge, and get down to business, you fat Kovian bundle o' blubber!" Redbeard roared.</blockquote><br /><br />If either of them say "landlubber" or "scurvy seadog" in the next few pages, it will make my afternoon. :D<br /><br />Anyway, some painful paragraphs of piraticism later, we find out that Blay ran into some old mateys called Yaruk the Hook and Thurgan the One-Eyed, and managed to get One-Eye so drunk that he gave away Kashtar's entire invasion plan!!<br /><br /><blockquote>"Oh, aye, Cap'n! Look ye, the way One Eye Thurgan puts it: ol' Red Wolf has thrown over his plans o' carryin' off half the Sarks of the West, 'cause he's afeered Karm Karvus has escaped alive* and is going t' bring the word to the Black Hawk**, y'see... so the old plan is junked, an' the new plan is t' strike fast as lightnin' before Patangy can get word and spring t' arms***, so termorrow dawn we sail... shippin' orders will be brought to each Cap'n of th' coast tonight at midnight by messenger-"</blockquote><br /><br />*Probably Kashtar shouldn't have told KK his evil and not-very-well-thought-out plan, then<br />**Um, wasn't Thongor intending to use Black Hawk as his secret disguise name?<br />***...and doesn't Patanga already know there is an invasion planned? From like Chapter 2?<br /><br />Yes! Barim swears at his shipmates and calls them all lubbers! Twice! No, three times! Close enough for me. They plan to sail in thirty minutes! Good job clocks have already been invented in the land before time.<br /><br />They all run down to the harbour to board the Scimitar, but there is bad news - Kashtar has closed off the harbour entrance, and no-one can leave until the invasion begins at dawn!<br /><br />Oh dear. Nothing else for it but to return to the pub. What hope does Patanga have now?Alicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01396310599096809225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29062984.post-36486432084230808902011-03-23T12:44:00.003+00:002011-03-23T12:49:11.974+00:00Chapter 8 - River of TerrorA sodden bundle lies face-down in the wet sand. Yes, Thongor has washed up on a jungly shore! We knew those thews could not be kept down for long. Turns out that, um, he was caught by some swift undersea currents while battling the larth, and by the time he got to the surface, the pirate ship was out of sight. Riiiight. So, the best he could do was swim eastwards into the sunrise, where he knew there was land. Hold on... *flips back* ...the larth fight took place at sunset... why am I even surprised at Carter's lack of continuity? Besides, I bet Thongor could easily tread water for an entire night without getting tired, what was I thinking?<br /><br />We know what to expect from the Lemurian jungles from the last book, what with all the phoths and ophs and deodaths and whatnot, but this time Carter has even bothered to give us descriptions of these beasts and not just a string of random syllables. What, then, does Our Hero have to look out for?<br /><br /><blockquote>Those branches far above his head might conceal the sliding coils of the dread oph, the great horned serpent of the Lemurian jungles, whose blade-ridged spine could slash manflesh to ribbons and whose pallid and glistening length could lash about a warrior and crush his limbs to pulp in instants.<br /><br />Here, too, dwelt the photh, the scarlet vampire bat who was one of the terrors of the jungle. But the denizens of Ptartha most to be feared were the titanic predators, the colossal jungle dragon whose insatiable hunger made its entire life one unceasing hunt for red meat; or the kingly vandar, the jungle lion, many times larger and much more ferocious than his modern-day descendants. As well, the fierce zulphar, the massive wild Lemurian boar, might well be hidden behind any bush. And the shadows of that thicket ahead could well be the haunt of the dread deodath, the terrible dragon-cat whose mad ferocity and savage strength made its name a legend of fear...</blockquote><br /><br />Luckily, Thongor managed to hang onto his broadsword and his dagger while being swept along by undersea currents, so immediately manages to bag himself a plump phondle at a waterhole with his awesome knife-throwing skillz.<br /><br /><blockquote>The swift, hurtling glitter of the thrown blade flashed momently in the dim green twilight of the jungle clearing, and its bright flash was quenched in the hot scarlet of the phondle's blood.</blockquote><br /><br />Momently??<br /><br />Finishing his meal, he hears the sound of a hunting vandar in the distance, so resolves to sleep up in a tree. Or at least that is what I hope he does, based on the following sentence:<br /><br /><blockquote>He spent the night in the crotch of a towering jungle monarch.</blockquote><br /><br />His first task, after waking and breakfasting on jungle berries (the vandar nicked what was left of his phondle), is to make himself some weapons, as obviously a sword and dagger are not quite enough. Then, with a few makeshift javelins strapped to his back, he heads to the river and starts building a raft.<br /><br /><blockquote>With the keen blade of his broadsword, Sarkozan, and the strength of his mighty thews, he felled the young trees and wove them together with springy, tough lianas.</blockquote><br /><br />And he's off down the river, which should lead him straight to Tarakus! Which is kind of odd, since he was just on the beach a minute ago. Geography, schmography.<br /><br /><blockquote>Toward twilight - terror struck!</blockquote><br /><br />He is attacked by a flock of phoths. Now this is more like it! Beats the previous chapter, "Karm Karvus Climbs Through a Window". Manly action! Muscles glide under his bronzed hide! ??? He knocks bats from the air with a meaty thunk! Then he escapes by hiding underwater until they go away! Well, I guess he's already had a lot of practice at holding his breath for a reeeally long time, his lungs must be just as mighty as his thews.<br /><br />The thews are back in play at the next nightfall (or possibly the same one, it seems to go from twilight to the next nightfall without any day in between), when Thongor decides to catch himself a zulphar. Only the coiled strength of Thongor's mighty thews could have hurled his flimsy missile with such force as to penetrate the thick flesh! He has a tasty feast of boar meat, then settles down in another crotch for the night.<br /><br /><blockquote>Towards noon the next day, Thongor again found himself battling for his life.</blockquote><br /><br />It's the poa! ??? ...which is apparently some kind of river-dwelling snaky sea monster, attracted by the delicious zulphar steaks that T has stashed on his raft. Is Thongor fazed by this? Of course not!<br /><br /><blockquote>But years of city-dwelling had not sapped or weakened Thongor's fighting instincts. He reacted with that hair-trigger speed centuries of life in the savage Northlands wilderness had bred into his ancestors, and which was stamped deep in Thongor, blood and brain and bone.</blockquote><br /><br />Basically, he hits it with his pole*, but this doesn't do much good, so out comes the sword... but then he has to drop the sword in the river because the poa is lunging at his face! The snake constricts round him and drags him into the water! Luckily his mighty lungs allow him to strive manfully against the snake, ripping it open with his dagger... then he finds his sword at the bottom of the river and swings it around just in time for the poa to impale itself, Shelob-style, on the pointy end!<br /><br />*it's a special pole. <br /><br /><blockquote>Driven by the surging strength of his mighty thews, with all the steely strength of broad shoulders, deep chest, massive back and sinewy arms, the pole was a terrible and deadly weapon in the hands of such as Thongor.</blockquote><br /><br />Now, though, he has to continue on foot, cos the trees are all too big for him to cut down (even with his mighty thews) so he can't build a new raft. Some more paragraphs about what a mighty man he is and how awesome he is at surviving stuff... and then he's out of the jungle, Tarakus lies before him... and the lithe figure of a fighting man with naked steel flashing in one hand steps out to confront him...........<br /><br />---<br /><br />Call that a cliffhanger? Bah. Thongor has just dispatched a poa, a zulphar and a flock of phoths, one lithe fighting man is not likely to be a threat, and it's probably one of his mates anyway.Alicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01396310599096809225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29062984.post-89847368017934638452011-03-18T17:20:00.000+00:002011-03-18T17:22:15.749+00:00Chapter 7 - The Face at the Window<span style="font-style:italic;">The stars are bright, the wind is cold<br />The moon is drifting free<br />We're out to seek for pirate gold<br />Across a silver sea</span><br /><br />Yo ho!<br /><br />The sun sets over Tarakus, and as ever, it's quite the production.<br /><br /><blockquote>Sunset flared crimson in the west, and a scudding wrack of wind-torn clouds gave ominous presage of coming storms.</blockquote><br /><br />The Pirate City is quite a-bustle tonight. Beneath its beetling and heavily-manchicolated walls, many ships lie at anchor, because Kashtar has summoned the entire pirate fleet to prepare for the invasion of Patanga (the City of Flame, apparently, hence the Flame Throne I guess.)<br /><br />Oh, it appears that Kashtar hasn't yet captured all of Thongor's mates, it was just a cunning plan he had, and KK was his only actual captive, so it kind of sucks that he escaped. It also means that Kashtar's invasion plan is in danger of being leaked, should KK make it back home, so all the guards are out searching for him, through the city ablaze under crimson skies. Yep, that's crimson three times in as many pages. <br /><br />What, this is ANOTHER Karm Karvus chapter? The fuck? *flips forwards* Ah, OK, Thongor is back in the next chapter, never fear, and this one is pretty short.<br /><br />It is also pissing it down with rain, though I thought crimson skies at night meant a shepherd's delight. All the pirates are enjoying themselves in taverns (much as you'd expect) but Karm Karvus has decided to evade the guards by hiding on the rooftops.<br /><br />Yeah, he's still alive. How did this happen?<br /><br /><blockquote>The Tsargolian never quite knew how he had survived the weltering fury of torn black water wherein the dragon, goaded beyond endurance, floundered and squalled. Somehow, after an eternity of swimming blind through black cold water far under the surface - lungs near to bursting and red agony searing at his brain - he had come up, gasping and half-drowned, in the fetid air of the sewers.</blockquote><br /><br />Anyway, we get a few paragraphs of explaining how clever he was to decide to go on the rooftops, especially given the cover of a rainy night, but now he's decide he needs to get indoors for some shelter and looks for an open window. Of course he finds one, and has to strive Heroically to get through it:<br /><br /><blockquote>Foot by foot, up the steep incline of slippery tiles - streaming all the while with cold rain - he inched his way to the haven of the open and unlit window. He could hardly see from the stinging rain beating at his eyes. His arms, shoulders and back were bone-weary from the strain. The icy, insubstantial fingers of the howling storm-wind plucked and tore at him, striving to claw him free from his slight fingerholds and pitch him over into the dark alley far below.</blockquote><br /><br />...and so on, for two more paragraphs, until he finally reaches the actual window. But there is a cloaked and veiled figure inside! He smashes through the window and grabs the figure, trying to choke the life out of it before the alarm can be raised....!<br /><br /><br /><br />...yeah, that's it for this chapter. Told you it was a short one.Alicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01396310599096809225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29062984.post-11838590879574659422011-03-08T12:05:00.002+00:002011-03-08T12:10:06.318+00:00Chapter 6: Dark Wisdom from Earth's Dawn!Still with Karm Karvus, in his dreadful imprisonment. He's apparently just woken up in an unfamiliar lavish apartment filled with silken drapes and other treasures, after drinking some evidently drugged wine. Sucks to be him?<br /><br /><blockquote>Hangings adorned the wall and they pictured forth incredible visions, subtly pornographic. On a long low table of hewn and polished marble stood a statue of wrought gold which depicted a young girl copulating with three satyrs.</blockquote><br /><br />Um. They "pictured forth"? And if that's what Lin considers subtle pornography, I dread to think what his hardcore stuff is like.<br /><br />Turns out that KK was drugged by the wizard Belshathla, who (of course) has some kind of Evil Plan.<br /><br /><blockquote>"The drug in your wine? Twas nothing - a pinch of Rose-of-Dreams, no more. More would have plunged you in a sleep so deep that death itself would not awaken you... and I wanted you alive!"</blockquote><br /><br />What sort of voice does Belshathla have, you might be wondering? Well, Mr Carter has that well covered. In the space of a page, we have the following:<br /><br />"...a harsh, grating voice"<br />"...the other grated"<br />"...the rasping tones of [Belshathla's] voice"<br />"in his harsh, metallic voice"<br />"..., Belshathla harshed" (he <span style="font-style:italic;">harshed</span>?)<br /><br />B is a little pissed off with KK, because sometime in years gone by (around the time Thongor was fighting Black Zaar, in case you were interested, or even if you weren't), he had come to KK's palace to show off his new magic and been given short shrift. KK at first does not remember, but then it all comes back to him.<br /><br /><blockquote>"...As I recall, I said you were mad to wish to bring to light again the devil-magic of Nianga... that the Gods in their infinite wisdom had crushed all of that accursed realm into ruin, so that the contagion of that evil science might not spread like some terrrible and deadly plague across Lemuria. I also said it was better for Mankind that the devil-machines of darkling Nianga lie forever beneath the dust of the ages and never be brought to the light of day again... yes, I remember that incident well!"</blockquote><br /><br />Oh, THAT Belshathla!<br /><br />Belshathla is unabashed, and in fact his thin lips writhe in a vulpine leer of gloating triumph. Oh, gods, this prose is so overblown! Anyway, he laboured alone amidst the deathly wastes of that drear and accursed land, and basically uncovered all the evil Niangan magic machines, and he cackles insanely as he describes this, whitish foam bedrabbling the corners of his mouth.<br /><br />KK, being cunning of mind, decides to humour the madman in the hope of drawing out some more information. Belshathla falls for this in less than a paragraph, and starts explaining about all his infernal machines. Apparently the Mind Distorting Lamp is but the least and littlest of all the terrible weapons in the mighty arsenals of God-whelmed and age-forgot Nianga, and the prize weapon is essentially an atomic bomb. Lin Carter gives his readers leave to picture KK's horror for themselves (no, he literally does this).<br /><br />Belshathla is now, after half a page, so convinced by KK's show of enthusiasm that he decides to show him the arsenal, because nothing delighted him more than to flaunt his science before the humble admiration of one who had once spurned it. Tsk, scientists, eh?<br /><br />Belshathla's secret lab is, appropriately, down a cavernous staircase in the bowels of the city etc etc, and is full of stalactites, with a gaping chasm down to the roaring waves beneath. Doesn't seem like the ideal scientific environment, but it does contain three things of relevance to the plot - 1) another Mind Ray of Madness contraption, 2) some cages full of mad prisoners and 3) a deadly larth! (who usually gets fed with prisoners when B is done with them).<br /><br />KK, still in full flattery mode, suggests that B show off his genius by using the Mind Ray on the larth. See what he's trying to do there? B, however, is happy to show off. This will not end well.<br /><br /><blockquote>The humming sound rose to a maddening whine. Now, from the central globe, a throbbing beam of completely colourless light shone. The cold finger of pallid luminance glowed faintly through the echoing gloom. It stretched from the rocky prominence whereon they stood, probing down into the watery abyss - to bathe the lifted head of the monster reptile full in its flickering beam!</blockquote><br /><br />Predictably, larth goes mad, destroys the shit out of everything, including the Mind Ray contraption. Yay! But! The ledge that KK was standing on was also destroyed, and he falls into the thundering maelstrom of battering waves and shattering spray! <br /><br />I am swamped by lurid adjectives and faux-archaic constructions. The larth gives voice to a thunderous bellow of maniacal frenzy, as its burning eyes flare crimson! The pirates now only have one other such weapon wherewith to imperil the Empire! I dare not even imagine what kind of soundtrack this shit would have, were anyone ever fool enough to make it into a film...Alicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01396310599096809225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29062984.post-71891737478879270442011-03-06T16:29:00.002+00:002011-03-06T16:32:49.268+00:00Chapter 5: Red Wolf of TarakusI notice that the chapter numbering continues, even though we're technically on "Book 2". I don't think Mr Carter has really thought this one through. But, here's the return of an old friend:<br /><br /><blockquote>For days and nights beyond counting, Karm Karvus had lain in the foul dungeons beneath the towering bulk of the Pirate City, and he hungered for freedom. Freedom and - revenge!</blockquote><br /><br />Beyond counting? Last I heard, his ship was only lost 3 days ago (plus the day it took for Barim Redbeard to get to Patanga, and the day of reminiscing about Dalendus Vool, etc). He must be REALLY bad at maths.<br /><br />But KK is still alive after all! His ship had been attacked by pirates, whose slim black boats had contained an "outlandish contraption". <br /><br /><blockquote>A fantastic thing it was, all globes of crystal and rods of twinkling brass. But from it struck a weird and terrible beam of gray light... colourless light that twisted the sight away and held under some hypnotic fascination the minds of all they who had looked upon it.</blockquote><br /><br />Karm Karvus had managed to tear his sight away by sheer force of will (he's been hanging around with Thongor long enough to learn these skills, evidently) but everyone else had just stared at it while the pirates swarmed aboard. Manfully, he'd tried to mount a single-handed defence of the ship, but had inevitably been captured, and then Red Kashtar had ordered all his shipmates to kill each other, which they did. And now he's stuck in a rather nasty prison.<br /><br /><blockquote>The dungeon cell wherein they had hurled him was dark and clammy and foul with the stench of human droppings and the vile odour of rotten straw wherewith the bare, beslimed stone flags of the floor were strewn. From somewhere in the stone ceiling above, moisture dripped ceaselessly. The slow plink-plink of it went on forever without change, and the monotony thereof drew his nerves taut and quivering.</blockquote><br /><br />Wherein? Wherewith? Beslimed? Thereof? <br /><br />Anyway, he's pretty bored, until at last there came a break in the eternal monotony of his long imprisonment.<br /><br />(it's still only a few days, right?)<br /><br />Footsteps approach, and he springs into action, hoping that there will be few enough guards for him to overpower. But no, there are seven, naked cutlasses (of course) in their hands, and 'twould be an act of desperation to fling himself bare-handedly against such a number of armed and ready men.<br /><br />He is taken into the pirate palace, which is full of treasures just casually strewn about and trampled on, cos pirates are just big slobs really. Their rich clothes are also covered with food stains, ugh! Naturally, we now get to meet the pirate king - no swarthy redbeard this one, instead he's a slim elegant man dressed in stretchy skin-tight red satin. He is dripping with jewels and his face is the "smooth, glossy hue of old parchment". Yes, I'm having trouble picturing that too. His wizard stands beside him, looking quite wizardly.<br /><br /><blockquote>At length Kashtar smiled and made a mocking little half-bow. His voice was soft and there was laughter in it.<br />"Well, my lord prince, I trust you have found your quarters suitable, and our hospitality pleasurable?"</blockquote><br /><br />Kashtar is every bit the suave villain of cinema legend (his skin-tight scarlet pants notwithstanding) - polite and mocking, with the occasional COLD BLACK FIRE flaring in his eyes every time KK insults him. But what is Kashtar's evil plan??<br /><br /><blockquote>"You are an old friend of the Lord of Patanga," he purred, "And, I doubt me not, he feels towards you with a warmth of friendship almost worthy of our demands - but not quite. But- when we have in some little measure added to our little collection of the friends of the so-called Lord of the West- "<br />"Added?" demanded Karm Karvus, hoarsely.<br />"Aye! now let me see; there is the Prince Ald Turmis of the city of Shembis, and old Barand Thon, lord of Thurdis of the Dragon, and hte young Prince Zul who but last year succeded his elder brother to the throne of Zangabal, and-"</blockquote><br /><br />?? So the pirates have been kidnapping all Thongor's mates, so that Thongor will have to, um, hand over his entire kingdom to the Pirate King, or else they'll take their <s>fart gas</s> outlandish contraption of madness to Patanga and make everyone insane...?<br /><br />FFS. I've seen episodes of Terrahawks with a more sensical plot.<br /><br />Hands up who reckons that Thongor will free all his mates and then have a super reunion party (full of jolly backslapping about how they defeated Dalendus Vool) before killing all the bad pirates?Alicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01396310599096809225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29062984.post-89015360440099515972011-02-25T11:07:00.002+00:002011-02-25T11:11:20.418+00:00Chapter 4 - Dragons of the Deep...and at last Thongor is on the move. A "slim black galley" is leaving Patanga harbour - I wonder which boat that could be? The sun is also just about to rise, and Carter makes a very big production of this:<br /><br /><blockquote>Morning mist roiled, thick and white, upon the face of the waters. Stars still burned in the darkness of the sky, but steadily, moment by moment, glory grew brighter in the east and shafts of burning light thrust across the gloom of heaven, driving the stars to rest. And it was day.</blockquote><br /><br />Thongor is glad to be back at sea, and, casting aside his velvet robes, has dressed for the occasion:<br /><br /><blockquote>Black boots clad him to the knee. A loincloth of scarlet hung for his ornate girdle. A broad leathern collar encircled his mighty throat and his bronzed and mighty chest was bare save for the straps of a warrior's trappings. A great black cloak, pinned to the shoulders of the broad collar, with cairngorm broaches (??), swelled with the wind behind him like vast black wings.</blockquote><br /><br />Barim is not sure by which title to address him, and tries a few before Thongor sensibly reminds him that, as he's travelling undercover, it might be better to conceal his identity. Barim thinks this is a worthy notion, and they agree to call him by his old pirate name, Black Hawk. Wasn't that the name of his old ship? Must have made for some confusion.<br /><br />Charn Thovis is also aboard the pirate ship, also in piratical disguise. And again we are reminded of how Charn Thovis rescued Prince Thar from Dalendus Vool, in case we'd missed any of that in the previous two chapters. Come on, Lin, enough with the recaps!<br /><br />But no, we also now get a potted history of Barim's heritage, and how it links up with Thongor's. Thongor, it turns out, was the last of his clan, called, um, the Black Hawk clan. I get the sense that Carter's not really trying any more. Then they all have some lunch.<br /><br />Lots of sailing. The lean black galley cleaves through the water like a slashing blade, they pass by various cities... Then it was that Fate took a hand.!!!<br /><br /><blockquote>Water broke a few hundred yards to port as a great scaled head lit with cold eyes of lambent flame rose above the surface of the Gulf.</blockquote><br /><br />Yep, it's our old friend, the dreaded larth. Thongor remembers his previous larth-battle, and wonders how he can escape this time!!<br /><br />The ship is armed with some catapults, their only defence against the sea monsters. If the catapults fail, they're in some trouble...<br /><br /><blockquote>But all knew that if the catapults failed , they were lost. For if once the dragon came at the galley itself, sword or spear or war arrow would have little would have little effect upon that terrible reptilian engine of destruction.</blockquote><br /><br />Twangg! Twunngg! They fire the catapults! They miss! And the larth is upon them! It eats a few crew members and causes some havoc, while they ineffectually shoot arrows at it. Then it lunges for Thongor!<br /><br />In a flash he jumps up and lands on its head, sitting astride its neck.<br /><br /><blockquote>Bright steel flashed ruddy in the sunset flame as the great Valkarthan broadsword swung up - and came slashing down! Fetid reptilian gore oozed down the scaly jaws and the larth was convulsed with the stabbing pain of Thongor's mighty blow.</blockquote><br /><br />Thongor hacks at the beast's neck and eventually manages to kill it, but then it sinks into the water and takes him with it! The surviving crew search and search until nightfall, but no sign of Thongor is found.<br /><br /><blockquote>The waves had swallowed the Warrior of the West, and only the Gods knew whither his indomitable spirit had flown... whether to the cold Shadowlands of the spirit world or the drowned black caverns of the unknown deep.</blockquote><br /><br />My money's on the drowned black caverns, personally. But yeah, that's more like it!<br /><br />This marks the end of "Book 1" - Book 2 up next, called "The Storm Breaks". For reference, we're only actually up to page 39.Alicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01396310599096809225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29062984.post-40903243311293528962011-02-24T14:47:00.001+00:002011-02-24T14:50:23.578+00:00Chapter 3: The Gray MagiciansStarting with an excerpt from The Lemurian Chronicles, stating how great Thongor is, it looks like we're in for a bit more exposition, and a lot more baffling discontinuity. Aedir the Sun-god is high above Patanga, but it's also only just after dawn, and they're off to the "librarium" where Father Eodrym has been busy researching all night. He's trying to find out which ancient secret of Nianga might have been discovered by the renegade wizard Belshathla (he's the fella that's given super magic weapons to the pirates).<br /><br />The librarium sounds impressive; there are books and scrolls made out of all sorts of materials, including pterodactyl hide. However, the relevant information appears to be in the ancient book called, um, The Chronicles of Lemuria, the only remaining copy of which just happens to be in the <s>library</s> librarium. Now, didn't we just hear a quote from this book, telling us about Thongor? On the previous page? Maybe the only copy is in the librarium because Father Eodrym hasn't finished writing it yet...? - just a thought.<br /><br />Now we are regaled by the contents of this book. It tells of the Pnothic Brotherhood, who studied Akashic Science, and so could uncover all the secrets of the universe, which are all somewhat confusing (as you might expect); something to do with an eternal battle between Creation and Chaos, that has destroyed the planet Zarkandu and left the planet Iridar a crimson (yes) and lifeless desert. It also contains crucial information about how the dinosaurs died out:<br /><br /><blockquote>'...the Lemurian Chronicles preserve the annals of Hyperborea in her prime, that ruled the Age of Reptiles ere the coming of Man. Chaos seduced the Dragon Kings of that dim dawn age to vile sorcery, and the Lords of Life wrought Man, and Man and Dragon fought in the Thousand Year War and at length the Dragon fell and the Age of Men began.'</blockquote><br /><br />The Aeon of the Gray Mages occurred shortly after the fall of the Reptiles, and apparently they dared to tamper with the secrets of creation itself, and (surprise!) unleashed strange magics that gave them control over the minds of man. However, the Nineteen Gods struck them down... but maybe Belshathla had found out those ancient secrets!<br /><br />Thongor is unamused.<br /><br /><blockquote>The strange gold eyes of Thongor blazed with wrathful fires like the savage eyes of the kingly vandar of the wild, the great black lion of ancient Lemuria.<br /><br />"And again, Chaos!" he growled. "Will we never be done with the taint of the dark powers! It has been six long years since we whelmed the Black City of Zaar before the sithurl-guns and let the waters of the sea cover it from the sight of men, and still it haunts us!"</blockquote><br /><br />I wonder how many reminiscences that makes now. A good portion of these first 3 chapters has been a clumsy Babylon 5-style recap, ("How are you, Commander Ivanova, since you took over running this busy interplanetary space station two weeks ago?" "Well, it's all gone to hell since Mr Garibaldi got shot and the ambassador turned into a cocoon!"); the rest have been unnecessary bits of background filler, and Father Eodrym's next pronouncement fits the latter category. He reminds Thongor that the wars between Chaos and Creation have been fought for millions of years, for example when the Divine Avatar Sargon the Lion whelmed the Black God's Son, or when Chandar broke the Dark Flame and Arn secured the Sword of Psamathis to rescue the Three Talismans (blah blah), and the war certainly isn't going to end just because Thongor broke down the walls of Black Zaar...<br /><br />Aedir the Sun-God is now heading west, which means it must be the afternoon, and Thongor is sprawling like a cat, and playing with his baby daughter. Sumia is not best pleased that he plans to go off to battle, but doesn't try very hard to dissuade him (just as well really, or we'd have to spend the rest of the book in the librarium), and quickly accedes to his daring plan to sneak into Tarakus on board Barim's ship......<br /><br />The next chapter is called "Dragons of the Deep," so I'm hoping that soon we'll get to see some fightin'!Alicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01396310599096809225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29062984.post-77719544080726410652011-02-23T10:30:00.002+00:002011-02-23T10:33:31.574+00:00Chapter 2 - Black Hawk's Ring (yes yes, settle down back there)Another ship, another city - yes, we're in Patanga, the seat of Thongor the Mighty, and a lean black galley is sailing into port. Just in case we were in any doubt about the colour or shape of this boat, within 3 paragraphs we get mention of a "lean black hull", a "lean black galley", a "slim black length" and a "slim dark galley". Nothing so far has been described as crimson, though the sails are scarlet. This ship has the look of a pirate about her.<br /><br />Patanga's defenders are waiting, and the first line of dialogue is "Ahoy the black galley!" - well, at least we know which boat they're referring to. The boat's occupants show typical piratical codes of dress, being accoutred in weapons, scars and items of outlandish jewelry. Here's their leader, straight from Central Casting:<br /><br /><blockquote>Then a big hand shoved them aside and cleared space for a towering redbeard with a bright crimson kerchief about his brows, breeches of bottle-green, enormous black boots and a massive, gem-encrusted girdle. His bare bronze chest bristled with fleeche of curly gold and frosty gray eyes blazed under tufted brows. He was a bull of a man with deep chest, broad shoulders, and arms that bulged with knotted thews like the branches of a gnarled oak.<br /><br />"This be the Scimitar out of Tarakus port," he growled, "and I be Barim Redbeard, her master."</blockquote><br /><br />Yarr!<br /><br />Crimson! Thews! Piratey accent! All the boxes ticked so far.<br /><br />Barim Redbeard apparently has some super-rare ring that will allow him to speak to Thongor urgently, so he's allowed to land. And now we have Barim's POV! Via a footnote, he lets us know that he became acquainted with various of Thongor's princes in an adventure called Thongor at the End of Time, published in 1968, though evidently not reprinted with the rest of the Thongor books.<br /><br /><blockquote>Prince Thar laughed with delight. "Of course I've grown, Captain Barim - it's been three years, you know, since we sailed together that time Charn Thovis bore me away form the usurper, Dalendus Vool, and you helped us get away."</blockquote><br /><br />They all reminisce a bit about mutual acquaintances whose names shall, alas, ever remain but nonsense syllables to those of us who were born too late. However, this does bode slightly well for this book, being evidently one of the few Thongor novels that was worth reprinting. Blah, blah, anyway, they lead the way to Thongor!<br /><br />Thongor sits on the Flame Throne. It's very flamy, as you can see:<br /><br /><blockquote>The Flame Throne of Patanga was sheathed in beaten gold the colour of flame. Flame-like, too, was the ornamentation of that throne, whose high back rose to wavy, flamy points. Atop a nine-tiered dais of black marble stood the Flame Throne, and thereupon sate Thongor.</blockquote><br /><br />What's Thongor looking like these days? Has he aged well? Well, apparently he's as lion-y as his throne is flame-y:<br /><br /><blockquote>He was a magnificent lion of a man, with the broad shoulders and mighty chest and splendid thews of some savage gladiator. His grim dark face was impassive, expressionless, but under his black scowling brows his strange gold eyes blazed lion-like.</blockquote><br /><br />Now we get a list of Thongor's attendant princes (yawn); all of the nobles are present except Sumia, who's become a stay-at-home mum. And again we are reminded of exactly how Thongor knows Barim - sailing on the Scimitar, escaping Dalendus Vool, etc etc, and they tell Barim about what happened to Karm Karvus. Enough catch-up, can we get to the fighting please?<br /><br />No, there's more background. Barim has some information about this Gray Death, and the history of pirates in general. It turns out that once upon a time, Thongor was one of the pirates, and sailed the ship Black Hawk (ah, hence the chapter title, I see). Eighteen years later, the pirates now have a new leader: Kashtar, Red Wolf of Tarakus, who wants to build a Pirate Empire! He has a secret weapon from some wizard, and now he's heading for... Patanga!<br /><br />Grizzled Thom Pervis is sceptical, as no-one can stand against Patanga's air fleet, as had been proven some 12 years previously when they defeated Yelim Pelorvis and won a throne for Karm Karvus... twelve years ago? Did I miss something? (flips back) Ah yes, apparently this is the twelfth year of Thongor's reign; not sure why I thought it was only 3 years later. Thongor asks to know more about this weapon... and the chapter ends!<br /><br />I must say, I'm disappointed by the lack of monster battles so far. By the end of Chapter 2 in the previous book, they'd already crashed a floater, fought a sea-monster and been almost eaten by cannibal trees, vandars, phondles , beastmen etc, and here we are still in a boring council chamber. Bah.Alicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01396310599096809225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29062984.post-41927988470371237572011-02-21T14:48:00.004+00:002011-02-21T15:04:34.339+00:00Thongor Fights the Pirates of Tarakus - Chapter 1The title would seem to imply a more limited range of enemies for Thongor to dispatch, but I'm sure he'll find a number of other beasts, wizards etc to fight on his way to and from Tarakus, as it's quite a way from Patanga. Carter has now decided to provide a map for us, which I have helpfully scanned in: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/ildrinn/3174714914/">map of Lemuria!</a>. You can see he's taken great care over it and not just scribbled something on the back of an envelope with a felt tip pen. Doubtless Thongor's adventures will take him through the wilds of Ptartha, and I'm sure both Zangabal and Pelorm contain untold horrors for him to dispatch.<br /><br />Despite being only 150 pages long, this book seems to be divided up into Books 1, 2 and 3; Book 1, which we are about to enter, is called "The Storm Gathers". Sounds pretty ominous. Chapter 1 is "The Ship of Howling Men", and you'll be pleased to hear that the overblown prose is as colourful as ever, as night falls over Tsargol...<br /><br /><blockquote>Night was almost come and the sun lay dying in a welter of crimson athwart the shadowy west. Slowly the purple wings of night rose up ofer the edges of the earth to enshroud the world in darkness. The first stars flickered pale and dim against the dusk. Soom Illana the Moon-Lady would ascend to the heavens to flood all the land with her cold shimmering glory, but not yet, for still bright Aedir the Sun-god ruled the skies from his deathbed of royal crimson in the darkling west.</blockquote><br /><br />I should also mention that Thongor is only mentioned in passing here, as lord of the Six Cities, so he's obviously gained a few more since the end of the last book, but Tsargol (if this is indeed one of his six cities) is a long way from his capitol so he's unlikely to appear just yet.<br /><br />A mysterious dark ship pulls into the harbour, and a messenger races off to the palace of... Karm Karvus, who's lord of Tsargol! Well well well, they have been busy. Everyone's worried that this ship is the advance party of a Pirate Invasion! but it seems to be unaccompanied, and in some trouble. As the ship moves closer, a "faint horrible sound" is heard by the waiting guardsmen. What could it be, do you think?<br /><br /><blockquote>It was a hideous ululation. It rose and fell, a moaning terrible and unnerving to hear. Otar looked at Otar with eyes wide with horror. The men of the dark, crippled ship were... howling...</blockquote><br /><br />Were they indeed. Seeing as we're only on page 2, and the chapter title is still visible, it's not that much of a surprise, really.<br /><br />The Otars (they are commanders of a hundred men, it seems) speculate on the cause of this infernal howling:<br /><br /><blockquote>Was the strange dark ship peopled by madmen? Or had it drifted into human seas from the crimson throat of hell itself, manned by the accursed? Were they madmen - or ghosts - aboard hte weird craft thaqt had come out of the unknown watery wastes in the hour of sunfall?</blockquote><br /><br />Karim Ptole arrives and tries to impose some order. They all decide that it couldn't possibly have been the pirates, because seldom do men escape their clutches once the crimson flag is hoisted and the black hulls glide in for the kill. And there's something devilishly familiar about the shape of that boat. It's not a naval ship, it's a bit too posh (too much crimson, perhaps?) It almost seems like... the Crown of Tsargol, that Prince Karm Karvus sailed away in not three days ago...!!!one! And it is!! oh noes!<br /><br />Jorn Javas is the first to board the ship, and it looks rather like the Event Horizon. There are corpses everywhere with mad grinning rictuses and foamed lips, who have evidently either killed themselves or each other, in a mad rage! Despite being a (young) seasoned veteran, Jorn Javas is shocked and ill at the sight. The only man who had evidently not succumbed was the captain, who had bound himself to the wheel with thongs from his warrior's harness (though he was also wearing a crimson coat with gold brocade - I still don't get these barbarian dress-codes). It was Norgovan Thul, the lord high Admiral of Tsargol! But how could that be? He had gone off in Karm Karvus's ship just three days ago! <br /><br /><blockquote>But this charnel ship, crewed with the dead and with the living dead, befouled with blood and wreckage, could not be the proud gilded trireme that had put to sea days before, bearing the Prince of Tsargol on a visit-of-state to the throne of Vozashpa... or could it?</blockquote><br /><br />Yes, Jorn Javas, it could, as we found out two pages ago.<br /><br />Luckily, for all you Karm Karvus fans out there, there is no sign of his body, so he's probably still alive somewhere. The Admiral is also still alive, and mutters something about the Gray Death and how KK is "gone!" before succumbing to madness and howling with the rest.<br /><br />As Karm Karvus is absent, his deputy Drath Horvan takes charge; KK is assumed to have thrown himself into the immeasurable waves of Yashengzeb Chun in order to avoid madness, along with a few other crew members. It is also determined that the disaster must have happened at sea, and as the chapter ends, word is sent to Thongor the Mighty, the Lord of the West of the World..............<br /><br />----<br /><br />A disappointing lack of thews in this chapter. I hope this will be rectified soon.Alicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01396310599096809225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29062984.post-50001449734304895712011-02-17T11:25:00.002+00:002011-02-17T11:29:56.127+00:00The final chapter!<blockquote>Swords, daggers, pikes, spears were plucked from their owners' hands and whirled aloft by a ghostly force!</blockquote><br /><br />Something tells me that, just perhaps, someone might have turned up with a giant Wile E Coyote magnet...<br /><br />Sumia watches all the swords, armour and other metal objects go flying up into the air, including a "gigantic iron-shod battering ram". Now, if this magnet is in the floater, surely the laws of physics should apply, and the floater should be dragged downwards towards this huge metal object, not vice versa... it's like that episode of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles where Shredder and Krang reversed the Earth's gravity, and all the buildings started flying up into the air.<br /><br />The besieging army is in uproar, and the ones on the walls are equally confused. Karm Karvus seizes this moment to chuck Vaspas Ptol over the battlements:<br /><br /><blockquote>The gorgeous jewelled robes fluttered through the dust-hazed air like a fantastic moth for a brief moment... then the dark, imperial dreams of Vaspas Ptol were quenched forever in a crimson smear as he struck the rocky field far below.</blockquote><br /><br />All the other captives (?) follow his example, by turning on their guards and giving them similar treatment. Prince Dru, who is apparently "lean, witty and sardonic" demonstrates these qualities by bashing two guards' heads together and throwing them down the stairs. There is general uprising against the druids and their men.<br /><br />Outside, Hajash Tor (the bad general) has been thrown from his kroter, and stumbles through the chaos to see Barand Thon (the good general) strangle Evil Emperor Phal Thurid, whose golden armour had inexplicably also been sucked away by the giant magnet. Hajash Tor knows better than to interfere, and tries to run away instead -<br /><br /><blockquote>Later, in some other realm, he could continue his quest for power.</blockquote><br /><br />He meets Thalaba, the Lord of Torture, who orders him to get back and attack! Hajash refuses, and crushes Thalaba's skull with one blow from a wooden stick! He laughs harshly and strides away, followed sneakily by Arzang Pome. Who the fuck is Arzang Pome? We're 8 pages from the end, isn't it a bit late to be introducing new characters? *skims back through book* - ah, no, he was very briefly mentioned on p91. It turns out he's the "cruel and sadistic Sark of Shembis", with whom Thongor has a score to settle, as the Sark once sentenced him to life as a galley slave. Hmm.<br /><br />Back in the city, all the guards have finally been chucked over the walls, and Sumia is declared Queen. Hurrah! The crowd joyfully begins tearing the Yellow Druids limb from limb. Soon, there's only one left, Numadak Quelm, who is bound and brought to Sumia for judgement. But then the floater appears overhead! Who could it be?<br /><br /><blockquote>At the rail stood Ald Turmis, and a familiar giant figure in harness of red leather.<br /><br />"Thongor!"<br /><br />The ship came down in the littered meadow that had been a battlefield. Emerging from the cabin, Thongor sprang over the rail and dropped lightly to the turf. From the opening gate, he could see chariots thundering to meet him, and a great crowd flowing slowly out of the city to hail their rescuer. For it had, of course, been Thongor - armed with the Magnetic Ray of Omm - who had disarmed both Patanga and the host of Thurdis of their steel weapons.</blockquote><br /><br />Well, duh.<br /><br />Everyone greets Thongor warmly, including Sumia's mates from Patanga, who (it turns out) had seen him three weeks earlier, when he had saved Sumia from the fiery altar of the druids. Three weeks earlier? Our boy's been busy!<br /><br />Thongor's most recent adventures are now skimmed through very quicky in recap form. As suspected, the other victim of that vampire wizard was the one who beat his way through the forcefield and strangled him, then shut off the power; now he was the ruler of the Lost City of Omm, and had helped Thongor by giving him the Magnetic Ray. Then Thongor and Ald Turmis hurried back with all speed, yadda yadda yadda, we get it.<br /><br />In the meantime, Barand Thon has gathered up all his troops and come to surrender. There are a couple of paragraphs of discussion about the fate of Phal Thurid etc, then Sumia comes over with a suggestion.<br /><br /><blockquote>"My Lords, there is much work to be done today, and for many days to come, before our cities are restored to their former greatness. (note: wasn't she deposed just three weeks ago? How bad can it be, exactly?) I am but a woman, young and inexperienced. This work needs a man. Thongor of Valkarth, will you marry me?"</blockquote><br /><br />Thongor agrees, and she declares them married right there on the spot. Pretty nifty, being Queen. Everyone is wild with delight, as Thongor is their hero. So here's the money shot:<br /><br /><blockquote>He made a heroic figure standing tall under the full blaze of noon, a towering and gigantic figure, bronzed in the full tide of his youth. And although he was nearly naked, clad in the rags of scarlet leather and a battered harness, his mighty torso and arms scarred and bruised, a kingly dignity invested him. And that was regal raiment enough.</blockquote><br /><br />Barand Thon is declared Sark of Thurdis, and Ald Turmis is made Sark of Shembis (even though Arzang Pome isn't actually dead). They both only accept on the condition that Thongor is their overlord, a position which had been vacant for many years. Nothing for Karm Karvus, then. Finally, Thongor releases all the prisoners (though the druids all get banished) and declares that it is now dinner time!<br /><br />Hail Thongor!<br /><br />And so the chapter ends.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">The Epilogue</span><br /><br />Not really worth doing a whole extra post for this, so here we go, let's get this book finished.<br /><br />Days of celebration, ceremony, feasting, weddings, etc. Ald Turmis and Karm Karvus meet up, and Ald complains that Thongor won't be any fun any more now that he's married, no more manly adventures now that they all have cities to run. But never fear! says Karm Karvus. Thongor still has many adventures ahead of him!<br /><br /><blockquote>"...Next year, he's vowed to go with me back to Tsargol. That's where we met, you know, in the dungeons, condemned to the Games by Drugunda Thal the Sark, and by Yelim Pelorvis, the Red Druid of Slidith. The Druid rules alone now, for Thongor put a cold steel through the Sark's guts when we escaped. Well, he's vowed the two of us shall go back and finish the job... and I may end up with a Sarkdom of my own!"<br /><br />"Do you really think...?"<br /><br />Karm Karvus rose, clapping a hand to his friend's shoulder. "Let's go back in and have a glass of sarn. There's a dancing girl I noticed looking at me - maybe she has a friend for you! Come, cheer up - wherever Thongor is, there'll be fighting and excitement enough for all!"</blockquote><br /><br />Don't touch that dial!<br /><br /><br />Next up: THONGOR FIGHTS THE PIRATES OF TARAKUS!Alicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01396310599096809225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29062984.post-68392470771662750622011-02-16T11:17:00.001+00:002011-02-16T11:19:55.637+00:00The Siege of PatangaBit of a disappointing title, TBH, after all the cannnibal trees and whatnot, but I think, with a mere 30-odd pages to go, Mr Carter has decided to start tying up some plot threads, rather than introducing new monsters every chapter. This also means that we're in Sumia's POV, so will have to leave Thongor until the next arbitrary POV shift.<br /><br />Despite all her previous adventures and supposed hard barbarian-wench upbringing, Sumia appears to have rather particular tastes:<br /><br /><blockquote>Sumia spent a tense and miserable night imprisoned in a suite of palatial apartments in an upper level of the Archdruidical Palace.</blockquote><br /><br />The hardship!<br /><br />After a refreshing wash and some breakfast, she is escorted by some soldiers to the main plaza, where Vaspas Ptol awaits, along with his entire bejewelled army and a procession of citizens waving colourful flags. Who knew that gassing a besieging army could be such fun? The Fart Gas of Madness is in the care of a priest called Himog Thoon, in case you were interested; could the names get any better?<br /><br />Some of the citizens cheer at the sight of Sumia - as you may recall, she used to be princess of this city until she was ousted ("many weeks" ago, apparently. She does give up quickly.)<br /><br />A few pages of description. We hear about the "great domes, as scarlet as the blood-bright cathgan, the viper of the Lemurian desert, gleam[ing] sanguine in the sun", and a view of the army outside the walls, including Phal Thurid, the Lord of Torture, Barand Thon and Hajash Tor. Vaspas Ptol is (evilly) pleased:<br /><br /><blockquote>He too was gazing with intent eyes down on the panorama of the battlefield, a thin smile of cold satisfaction curling his thin lips as he gloated down on the enemy who, for all their vast numbers and glittering might, he could destroy utterly and in mere moments, at his whim.</blockquote><br /><br />Himog Thoon is preparing the gas to pour over the battlements (it's heavier than air, apparently). Sumia knows that whoever wins this battle, she will lose - and wishes that Thongor was here! He'd know what to do!<br /><br /><blockquote>It had been five long days now since she had last seen the man to whom she had surrendered her heart... the man who, beyond doubt, lay dead in some far-off place. Would she never again gaze up into his strange golden eyes, or see his quiet smile, or feel the comforting strength of his mighty arms about her, sheltering her from the threat of danger? Almost she could wish for death, for perhaps, beyond the veil that stands between the world of light and the world of eternal shadow, she might again feel the power of those great arms about her...</blockquote><br /><br />It's all about the thews, even now.<br /><br />The attack begins! And suddenly and with no warning we're in the POV of Hajash Tor. I think he's the Thurdian commander who is a decent sort and hates his eeeevil emperor. He is smart, and suspects a trap. Oh no, he's off to warn Phal Thurid, he can't be a good guy; he needs an ambitious Sark because he longs to conquer an empire. Barand Thon must be the nice one.<br /><br />They're ramming the gates! Back in Sumia's POV, red-blood lust blazes up in the eyes of Vaspas Ptol, and he's just about to release the gas....................................<br /><br /><blockquote>Then he struck with the sword - a smashing blow to sever the leaden stopper and release the Black Vapour of Madness-<br /><br />Or, rather, he tried to strike! For the steel blade was torn from his grip by an unseen hand.</blockquote><br /><br />His sword floats out of his hand! Everyone stops and stares in astonishment! A shadow passes overhead!<br /><br /><blockquote>And then - a shout - a hundred shouts - cries and shrieks from ten thousand throats!<br /><br />It seemed that suddenly the whole world went mad.</blockquote><br /><br />Only one chapter (and an epilogue) left! Can you stand the suspense????Alicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01396310599096809225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29062984.post-23499943022643416012011-02-11T14:39:00.001+00:002011-02-11T14:41:32.191+00:00Leaving Princess Sumia in the evil grasp of Vaspas Ptol, we return to the Lost City of Omm where Thongor is trying out his new cloaking device - as you may recall, he's been captured by a vampire warlock, and imprisoned in a room made of nebium.<br /><br />He's using the time-honoured trick of putting pillows in his bed to make it look like he's still sleeping, then he hides behind the door, his invisibility armlet on.<br /><br /><blockquote>His keen ear detected the shuffle of approaching footsteps. They came to a stop before the great portal of black nebium. There was the hollow clang of a bolt being withdrawn... then the doors swung inwards, revealing ten of the white-faced, dead-eyed zombie-men, bearing great platters of food. Thongor's lips twisted in a savage, invisible grin. Fatten up the lambs for the slaughter! No wonder they had been fed so sumptuously.... so that Xothun could dine later from their hot, rich blood!</blockquote><br /><br />I can't actually read the word "sumptuous" now without thinking of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Newcomb">The Duke</a>. But anyway.<br /><br />The guards drag away Narjan Zash Dromor, who is Thongor's disposable cellmate (I think Ald Turmis is safe, being Thongor's buddy). This is handy for Thongor, as he can now follow them as they take Xothun his next victim.<br /><br />The rest of the palace is less sumptuous than Thongor's quarters, in fact it's rather run-down and shabby, with the former grandeur eaten away by the nameless agents of time etc etc. Our Hero was initially worried about his ability to find the secret lair of Xothun in this vast labyrinth of a palace, but when they get there it turns out Xothun has a name-plate on his door.<br /><br />As you might expect, Xothun is not a pleasant-looking fellow.<br /><blockquote>Xothun was indeed like a spider or a bloated, incredibly fat and loathsome leech. His flesh was spongy, pallid, dewed with perspiration, and it hung upon his body in repulsive rolls and bladders of unhealthy, fatty tissue. His torso was a great, squat globe of bulging flesh. His arms and legs were flippers of dangling blubber rather than limbs.</blockquote><br /><br />No thews on him, then.<br /><br />He's sitting in a laboratory, which is like a typical mad scientist's wet dream: flashing globes of lightning, bubbling vats, bolts arcing between copper rods etc.<br /><br />But what's this? He can see through Thongor's cloaking device! He flips some switches and Thongor becomes visible again. Thongor panics and starts to attack him, but Xothun says "Don't kill me, let's have a chat instead" and for some reason Thongor agrees.<br /><br />How did he spot Thongor? Well, apparently he has some kind of device which gathers up all the sounds from the city and pours them through tubes into his ear, thus he was able to eavesdrop on Thongor explaining his plan to Ald Turmis. But now he has "merely rendered its powers negative by countering it with an opposing force of the same vibration and intensity". <br /><br />Yes, Xothun claims to be a scientist, none of this wizardry nonsense. He shows Thongor another one of his inventions, which is a "videosphere", through which he observed the floater and resolved to nick it, with his Magnetic Ray. And now he plans to steal the secrets of the floater, drink Thongor's blood, then build a new army of floaters to go out and get more victims. Who'd have thought the floater would turn out to be such a vital plot point?<br /><br />Thongor now lunges for Xothun, but is stopped by a forcefield! However, a forcefield is no match for Thongor's thews. With iron strength he battles his way through the forcefield. Xothun is getting a bit worried now, and turns up the power, so even the mighty barbarian is struggling. But now Narjan Zash Dromor springs to his aid!<br /><br />End of chapter! Not much of a cliffhanger really though, as we all know Thongor will survive... or will he?Alicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01396310599096809225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29062984.post-22559365485521346302011-02-07T13:24:00.001+00:002011-02-07T13:26:54.959+00:00Black Vapour of MadnessLike the previous chapter, this one starts with the exploits of Princess Sumia and Karm Karvus, lately captured by the Yellow Druids of Patanga. Sumia is in an audience with Vaspas Ptol, the current ruler of Patanga. He likes the look of our heroine.<br /><br /><blockquote>Her smooth body swayed with lithe, animal grace as she crossed the great hall. His eyes feated hungrily on her astonishing beauty... her slender body whose marble-smooth limbs were half-revealed and half-concealed by her translucent draperies, flesh of alabaster-white, flushed with creamy rose... proud, tilted breasts rising firm and full, cupped in hammered gold... the calm, sweet oval of her face, framed in a thick tangled mane of glossy hair that flowed in curlinmg waves dow her slim back... great eyes like wells of dark light... full sensuous lips ripe-hued like rose-petals.</blockquote><br /><br />Phwoar, eh lads?<br /><br />Vaspas Ptol accuses Sumia of turning up at the head of an illegal army, but she laughs in his face. Good for her! She accuses him of trying to wed her against her will, and threatening her with torture or death, which makes him the criminal and not her.<br /><br />Sumia is proper kickass chick here. Vaspas Ptol continues to be a smarmy arsehole, threatening her with this and accusing her of that, and she just laughs at him. Eventualy, he suggests that she can be cleansed of her "sins" by marrying him, and she continues to scorn him, cos of course she's in love with Thongor. She says that soon Phal Thurid will conquer the city, so Vaspas Ptol's scheming is useless.<br /><br />Not so, apparently - Vaspas Ptol has a secret weapon! He summons the priest Himog Thoon to demonstrate. <br /><br />Himog Thoon has a mysterious black globe, and uses a slave to show off its power. When touhed with a knife, a nasty vapour comes out.<br /><br /><blockquote>The vapour coiled in smoky wreaths about the whimpering slave like the cloudy tentacles of Iorgazon the Demon of Madness in the old myths.<br />An apt comparison, seeing what occurred upon that instant - the slave went mad.</blockquote><br /><br /><br />Oh noes! Vaspas Ptol plans to unleash this terrible gas upon Phal Thurid's army the next morning. Muahahhaha!Alicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01396310599096809225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29062984.post-88790258162533016312011-01-31T13:36:00.001+00:002011-01-31T13:37:34.420+00:00We leave Thongor for the moment and return to his sidekick Karm Karvus, who you may recall had been captured by the Thurdans, who are all off to war. He doesn't know why he hasn't been killed, but guesses that he's going to be used as a hostage against Princess Sumia's cooperation when they try to invade her country. By no coincidence, they have now reached her city of Patanga (it only took a day) and have laid siege to it.<br /><br />Karm Karvus doesn't care who wins this battle, but he doesn't like being a captive, so resolves to escape (duh). In the day or so since his capture, he's managed to steal a blunt eating knife and sharpen it to a "razor-keen tool of death"; with this he cuts a hole in his tent, and he's away.<br /><br />The princess is heavily guarded, and it'll take quite a scheme to get her out. Rather than make a plan, however, he remembers the ways of Thongor:<br /><br /><blockquote>Thongor despised cautious planners who paused to weigh in the balance every factor before taking action. It was his habit, when confronted with difficulties, to strike out blindly in the first direction that presented itself by hurling himself into the thick of things in a whirlwind of daredevil violence.</blockquote><br /><br /><br />This manifests itself by KK easily killing a guard, cutting his way into her tent, and escaping with the princess before anyone notices. This also saves work for the author, as the escape takes less than a page.<br /><br />KK asks the princess if she wants to return to her city, but she's too afraid of the Yellow Druids that control the city and want to burn her on their altars (well, you would be, wouldn't you?). Instead they resolve to go north to some family friends who can help them, but guess what? Yep, they run into a patrol of Yellow Druids. KK fights bravely but Sumia is inevitably captured...<br /><br />Now, back to Thongor, who is having a rather better time. He and Ald Turmis are being kept in a prison full of silken couches and delicious food. Still, a prison is a prison, and this one is made of "nebium", a metal stronger and denser than any other.<br /><br />They have a new companion called Narjan Zash Dromor, who informs them that this is the Lost City of Omm. He has this to say about their captivity:<br /><br /><blockquote>"I am here in reparation for no crime, nor are you. It is my turn..."<br />"For what?"<br />Narjan shuddered a little, his eyes regaining their accustomed haunted look of dread. "To come before Xothun, the Master of Omm. He is the magician that rules us all. We exist but to serve his depraved hungers. He is a morgulac."</blockquote><br /><br /><br />A morgulac, it appears, is a blood-drinker, and this is why a) the citizens of Omm are so pale and listless, and B) Thongor and Ald Turmis have been so well fed. For a thousand years, Xothun has been unstoppable, and Thongor can think of no way to escape him.<br /><br />Luckily, a short while later, Thongor remembers the Armlet of Plot Device, presented to him by our old friend Sharadjsha the Wizard in case of unspecified emergencies, and not actually mentioned until this point in the book. But what does it do?<br /><br /><blockquote>Across the room was a great full-length mirror framed in opal-hued jazite. He strode over to behold himself. Then he touched the armlet, probing at it. Almost by chance his fingers touched the huge chandral and it clicked, turning slightly within its socket.<br /><br />Thunder of Gorm Almighty!<br /><br />A strange electric thrill passed through his nerves. In the great mirror, Thongor watched with awe as a faint nimbus of green light outlined his form. Then the dim aura faded and with it his very body vanished from view like steam dissolving into thin air!</blockquote><br /><br />I think Thongor now has a cunning plan...Alicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01396310599096809225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29062984.post-91529979687688086502011-01-28T12:44:00.000+00:002011-01-28T12:45:11.347+00:00Well, the vandar isn't piloting the floater, but he might as well have been - it has conveniently slipped its moorings and drifted on the air currents to exactly the right place. Why didn't it just float off into the sky?, you may well be asking. Well, Mr Carter has a scientific explanation all ready for you.<br /><br /><blockquote>Although totally weightless, the ship could not rise above a certain level unless propelled higher by its rotors. The mysterious urlium metal had a "negative" weight, and fell up - but the urlium was only a thin sheath over a strong frame of steel ribs, held together by en even heavier keel. The steel frame, then, had a "positive" weight, and pulled down at precisely the correct weight to balance the upward pull of the magic metal.</blockquote><br /><br /><br />The floater still has the rope attached that Thongor had used to tie it down with, so he leaps from his saddle and climbs up to grab the controls; Ald Turmis follows him up. They begin to make their plans to rescue the princess, and laugh about what great heroes they are.<br /><br /><blockquote>"you will soon become acustomed to hurtling through the sky like the hero Phondath astride his winged dragon in the myths," Thongor chuckled.<br /><br />Ald Turmis grimaced. "I was thinking more along the likes of of the Nuld," he said, referring to the legended and mysterious Winged Men of Zand, beyond the Mountains of Mommur. "But your analogy is just as apt."</blockquote><br /><br />They eat some food, then fly over to Thurdis, where the city seems strangely empty. Ald Turmis spots the huge column of soldiers in the distance - well, actually, he just spotted some smoke, and it took Thongor's keen barbarian eyesight to see what was actually going on. He can even make out the designs on the banners, and so works out that his princess is among the soldiers!<br /><br />But just then another crisis occurs. For some reason, the floater begins to move of its own accord, away from the army, and there is nothing Thongor can do to stop it. It's now hurtling southwest, away from any known civilisation! Failing to make it stop, Thongor decides to go to sleep instead.<br /><br />His keen barbarian senses wake him up as soon as the floater starts to slow down, and he finds it descending towards a lost city, deep within the uncharted jungles of the Chush. The city is mostly in ruins, but he spots the odd glimmer of light from one or two windows.<br /><br />Suddenly a mysterious force grabs him and throws him against the wall, pinning him there! There he remains, until pale zombie-like people climb up to the floater, tie him up, then take off his harness (?) which releases him from the mysterious force. Now, this is the first time we've heard about his harness, I think; last time we saw Thongor's clothing, he just had a loincloth and a cloak on, but now his harness is off and he's apparently completely naked (apart from his boots). It looks like this force is supposed to be some kind of super magnet, as the harness remains stuck to the steel bars of the wall, as does Thongor's sword - oh yes, and the chapter is called The Magnetic Ray. Thongor figures this out and grins, cos even though they've been captured, he now knows that it was a giant magnet that pulled the floater across half the continent...Alicehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01396310599096809225noreply@blogger.com0